16 year age gap

[Kaylasmum49]

I left an abusive 20 year relationship 2 years ago and I’m happy with my life and living with my 2 youngest dcs.

I joined an online dating site and have met a couple of guys but nothing came of it, but recently I’ve been talking to a guy that seems genuinely lovely, the only issue is that I’m 57 and he’s 73. I enjoy talking to him, he’s very respectful and polite and has said that he’d like us to meet. I’m struggling with the age difference tbh so don’t really know what to do for the best. I don’t want to upset him or lead him on in any way.

He seems to be very fit and active, much more than I am and doesn’t really look his age.

Has anyone been in this situation before?

You've said the age difference is an issue, and you're struggling with it. That's a good enough reason not to continue talking to him. If you're not interested, you're not interested, you get to decide why, and you don't have to justify it.

Cut your losses, and move on, there's no need to keep talking to him or meet up if you know it's a non starter for you.

It's your choice, you're not responsible for everyone's feelings, and let's be fair, he knows a 57 year old is a reach but good on him!

It's an issue and he's not for you. Move on.

It would be too much for me as I wouldn’t want to set myself up to be caring for him in old age, but if you’re not looking for anything serious and are attracted to him, then I can’t see a problem.

Having said that though, your priority shouldn’t be not wanting to upset him, you’ve never even met him and he’s trying his luck with a woman 16 years younger than him! You are allowed to say no, you’re not a charity!

I've had relationships with men 12 years older and younger.

But 73? He's an old man!

I don’t want to upset him

Fucking hell, when will women EVER stop taking on responsibility for a man's feelings?

You are not responsible for protecting his precious feelings. You don't owe him a fucking thing. You think it's reasonable to stay in a relationship because you don't want to hurt his feelings? Come on, op. You're a fucking grown woman, behave like one.

Don’t meet him then if you feel like that! It sounds like a non-starter.

Thanks for the replies

I do like him but the age difference is bothering me, more so really what other people will think. He’s a professional man, a psychologist and so different to the guys I’ve spoken to before. I’m looking more for companionship than an intimate relationship but not sure if that’s what he’s looking for.

If you pursue him for only companionship, I think your best to mention this.
He will have great skill at talking to you no doubt.
Old men have a very set ideas and set ways, it becomes boring and sexually not to exciting.
Friend zone fast...
Ignore any mind games or psychological bs.

If the age difference bothers you it bothers you and it will continue to do so.

If you also want companionship then I would suggest that a dating website is not the best place for this. You are only responsible for your own self here, not other people.

My dad was a really fit and healthy 72 year old and dropped dead suddenly. Don't mean to be morbid but at that age it's quite a big gap and if you fall for him and develop feelings you've probably only got 7 years max before he is really old / health problems etc. I know anyone can die but the older you go the more likelihood and I just think if you have a choice and haven't fallen in love it's better to invest your time in someone closer to your own age so you get longer times together to be happy.