Friend always boasts about upcoming trips

[catlady4lyfe]

Hey y'all just wondering if you've dealt with similar. Long time friend , she has more money to spare to go on trips and her sister is a flight attendant so gets the flight for free basically....

She likes to talk about how excited she is which to this I stay excited and positive too because I know she's excited and honestly don't know what else to say? I say yes so awesome that will be amazing but she goes on and on about how beautiful the air bnb is the pool and very specifics and how "cheap" it is because well yea her flight was free. It's like I have no idea what to say because I've never travelled overseas, I want to but never had the means to. She doesn't just say this once but a few times to me leading up to her trip and I find myself saying I literally don't care lol.

She does this to me with every trip she goes on , it's starting to annoy me :( am I right to feel this way? Generally, she can be a bit scatterbrained and tells me things multiple times like she forgets, she has a lot of friends so probably can't remember which she's told. When she starts to talk about something she's already told me, I would like a "oh have I told you this" I can't get a word in until she's almost finished talking about it then I have to say yes I remember you telling me. It's exhausting sometimes :( she told me about said trip 2 weeks ago and then called tonight and said guess what I'm going to said place... I said I know!

I just couldn't imagine myself boasting so much to the extend she does, and she also knows I've never been and would love to go too. (Not her issue I know)

I do think she's just so excited for her trips, as would anyone. I think it's the multiple times and how in depth she goes about how amazing it will be that I'm like omg here we go again.

Am I being unreasonable to feel this way?
Please set me straight! Otherwise she's a good friend :)

Is she boasting, or is she sharing her excitement with a friend? Almost the best part of a holiday is the anticipation and planning, don't suck the joy out of it by sneering at her for taking pleasure in her break.

If you can't afford to go away, plan a day trip to your nearest big city and share that or investigate closer to home breaks. That way you'll have something to share in return rather than sitting there with a resentful glower that she gets nice things.

Tbh, I only ever get prickly about people ‘boasting’ when it’s something I’m jealous of.

A friend talking to me about her multiple holidays wouldn’t bother me, because I holiday lots myself. However, I’d definitely interpret someone banging on about their fast metabolism or easy pregnancy as ‘boasting’.

Do you want to go on a trip? Is there any way you for you to take steps to making it happen? I know your friend has more disposable income than you and a flight attendant sister, but could you save for a passport? Where are the budget flights near you flying to?

It is also a possibility that she is trying to encourage you to travel. Some find people not having left the country as quite sad, but don’t really consider WHY. You might need to tell her bluntly that this is not an option at the moment. She may not have considered it.

Thanks for sharing this perspective ! Appreciate hearing it non objectively.

Is this any different from boasting about you baby crawling/walking/saying mamma?

Just what she is doing in life and is lucky enough to do it cheaper than most.

People boast more about everything nowadays the "Instagram look at me effect", sofas, BBQs, growing carrots. That's all this is. It might just feel more pronounced to you because it's something you desire to do.

You could try picking her brains "I'd love to go away just once any tips on how to do it on my budget?". Or "if I ever manage to save for a trip where would you suggest I visit first"

Instead of getting annoyed, get inspired and use her knowledge to help you.

I think she’s just excited and your feeling a bit envious of her. As airline staff I can guarantee her flights won’t be free. While reduced cost they will likely have an element of standby and she will probably be worrying about whether she will get on or not, it’s not all you imagine and as such I rarely use my perks and book like any other person. Focus on what makes you happy, not what others have and never believe the insta life style is real.

Doesn't sound like boasting, just talking about she's doing and being excited about it, plus the dippiness of repeating herself (increasingly common I find as we get older). I'd be pretty chuffed if I got free flights and found bargain places to stay. Perhaps she's even emphasising those things precisely so it's not like she's boasting i.e. it's not that she's minted and being flashy about it. That said, I totally understand it gets wearing but I wouldn't go so far as to ever say "I literally don't care lol". That sounds pretty rude and if I really felt like that about her, I wouldn't be spending time with her. As it sounds like you like her more than that, I think the "I know - you've told me" line and moving onto other subjects is the way to go.

Is it just the holidays she boasts about, or is it more stuff in her life? If it's more stuff other than holidays, she might be a bit of a bragger.

I think maybe you could be a small bit jealous, which is normal. It could just be her personality - maybe she doesn't realise that this might annoy/upset other people.

I personally think loads of people go on about holidays - most everyone I work with will outline their entire weekends away before they go and after they come back. I think maybe it's just a conversation in many ways.

If it is getting to you though, you don't need to put up with it. If she's calling you and you don't feel like listening about her holiday, just don't pick up and shoot a text later on to say you were busy. I have friends who I need to too this with as they will talk about something that just exhausts me to listen to.

I think you should look into planning a trip of your own. I know it can be expensive but you can get some great last minute deals.

I side with argument that she may be just telling you about her excitement - and maybe she does point out that it is cheap so it does not sound "boastful".

You're not unreasonable to feel jealous or a little annoyed by the difference of her circumstances , but it wouldn't be fair to take it out on her. She is literally just being happy she gets to travel for less...

Are you me? 😂

It just sounds boring/tedious to me rather than something to spark jealousy/envy but that's because of the way I would feel about it (I'm not a holiday person)!

Is it the boasting that are the issue or is it the oversharing of tedious detail/lack of awareness of your non-verbal cues that she is going on a bit? Maybe it is both. I've got a [dwindling] friendship with someone who has a tendency towards boasting (nothing I would be jealous of - work related last time) and tedious levels of detail, it can be very draining.

It sounds like you are jealous I'm afraid.

I have a "friend" who is like that. I dont think you are jealous at all. It's just some people can't read the room well and if someone is constantly going on about things knowing you don't have that opportunity, I think it is bragging as it gives them a sense of self-importance. Not many people are refined these days and like to exhibit that "look at me" Instagram lifestyle. She probably feels very hollow inside and not much awareness of others outside of her skin.

Just switch off from her if you think she is purposely trying to irritate you, it will only get worse.

Why wouldn't you feel jealous- that's understandable and she sounds a bit insensitive. I had a 'friend' like this, always boasting how wealthy she is, and I have dialled the friendship right back. I hope you will get the opportunity to travel abroad yourself.

I googled this as I have a friend who is doing this to me a lot and did it today. I know she’s in debt as well so I really struggle to go enthusiasm. I think I’d be more excited for her if I felt like she’d “earnt” it iyswim?
I am an accountant and very careful with money. Which I can’t really help as it’s been trained into me. So pretending I’m excited for someone spending beyond their means is hard for me and I am starting to feel like I value this friendship less because we have different standards.
I would like to go away a bit more I guess, but I’m talking maybe 2 holidays a year instead of the current 1, but I have young kids and we’re quite homely so it’s not a priority for me!