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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Disillusioned Husband

1 reply

123bird · 16/05/2023 11:50

Background, both husband and I are early 50’s. 18 months ago my husband was made redundant due to an organisational change, however he was fortunate to find another similar role on the same money very quickly. He admits in his previous role he did just enough as he found it boring and I now see the same happening in his current role.

When discussing this he says that after 30+ years of working he is just bored of it and wants to stop. However we still have a mortgage and school/university aged children. My husband is on a high salary and we still need the money, but I see he is so disillusioned with working. I work part time but have no chance of earning anywhere near his high salary even if I change jobs and work full time.

He cannot change jobs as we can’t take the salary reduction and in his own words it wouldn’t solve the issue as he just wants to stop. He even said he wants the next 5 years put on fast forward so that the kids will be grown up and he is no longer financially responsible for them. Any advice? Is this just a case of telling him to suck it up? I hate to see him this unhappy. I should state he is fit and healthy with no medical issues - he sailed through his company medical.

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 16/05/2023 12:07

My H wants to stop working but doesn't want to be skint.
So we have a pension plan.
At the moment it's to retire at 62 comfortably, and the more cash we can throw in brings down that pension age.

So he isn't unique wanting to stop working

Best advice is to look at you pension contributions because if you can still have a decent pension income after mortgage paid say for example, once you hit 55/56 and can start to draw down private pension, providing sums add up, he can retire then.

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