Another chance with first love

[horridballerina]

I had a very hard childhood and was a shy and late bloomer. The boy I first loved was a very clear experience. He joined our school when I
was 12 and I saw him and just felt it. Neither of us were popular. We became friends, and hung out all the time. I knew he liked me but it terrified me. I pushed him away, kind of. I didn’t know why and always regretted it.

Ten years later, while both single, we confessed our feelings again and again I really pushed him away. He was such a nice boy and really loved me. I just felt very frightened of feeling so much I suppose.

Then now (and I can’t believe) it’s come up again. We’re both middle aged and single. We bumped into each other. I have been quiet and reserved in relationships and so has he. We both have kids and both relationships have broken down, after lots of trying. We both now live alone. I really love him, very deeply, and am still very scared. I don’t know what to do. I can’t sleep for thinking maybe this time I should do something. I feel so frozen and lost, but also awed by the possibility of trying it out this time. I know he would.

Does anyone have any ideas?

Surely it’s better to give it a chance than live the rest of your life thinking what if…?

You say you really love him, but based on what? Have you been in touch at all since you were 22?

Come on! You've both had other relationships serious enough to have kids. You're not 12 anymore, just get on with it!!

you'll regret it if you don't at least try.

Yes, we have. We live in the same city and knew each other still, though not frequently. I thought of him as someone I had loved when I was with my partner.

@SarahSmith2023 maybe!

@horridballerina why not, you have nothing to lose. All the best.

What are you so scared of?

That it wouldn’t work I suppose. Of rejection.

And of feeling too much.