Conversations seem so hard

[Icmdiba]

I’m finding conversations with my partner so difficult.

I want get a pedal bike for our 4 year old. I bought it up out of the blue and mentioned a frog bike I’d seen for sale and explained that if we buy second hand then sell on again it won’t cost that much in the long run. He got cross and was saying she doesn’t need a bike, when will she ride it, she’ll go too far ahead of us, what if she doesn’t take to it. To me this is just crazy. She has a balance bike now surely the next step is to teach her to ride a pedal bike.

There was a similar thing a while ago when I suggested we get our daughter’s a few private swimming lessons. Our elder daughter has additional needs and she could in no way cope with group lessons. We take them “swimming” but it’s just playing. He got cross about this too and said he learnt to swim at school and that was fine for them too.

I’m feeling also so low. I feel like I’m saying things that aren’t crazy and he is responding like I’m suggesting something really outlandish.

Any advice?

Is he maybe worried about money? Appreciate you could sell the bike on after she's done but maybe a cash flow problem?

I think yes that’s it. Except there isn’t a cash flow problem. We don’t have loads of money but we do have savings and are getting by. My eldest get’s disability living allowance so the swimming is a good thing to spend that on.

But he’s always been very “tight” but he’ll never admit it. So unfortunately I think what happens is he panics about the money but can’t admit that so comes up with loads of other ridiculous reasons. Not sure what to do.

I do not work anymore and I’m massively regretting it. It’s just so hard with having a disabled child as my main priority has to be to be there for her. But god I miss just having my own money.

The “tightness” is an ongoing problem and it wears me down