Not sure if you find them attractive or not

[Datingpuzzle101]

A light hearted one I'm struggling with since starting to date again. I'm coming across some really lovely guys who I get on with, lovely company and fairly easy on the eye, but I'm always left with a doubt over whether I find them physically attractive or not. I'm talking to a guy at the moment and looking at sorting a first date, text conversation includes selfie sharing (from him) and I just don't know if I find him attractive.

I just want to know I'm not alone with this and if it's a common dating issue or not and if you give up on them or give them a chance. When do you call it quits and can you find someone physically attractive from this position because their personality is so good? (None of this is about this specific man, it's dating in general)

No, I don’t give them a chance. What a waste of time. Men will also rarely exchange the same courtesy. The most potato looking of fuckers think they deserve a great beauty, and will only settle if they are getting some sex out of it.

It’s not about only dating Adonises. i have found men who aren’t traditionally attractive super sexy by a dirty laugh, lovely eyes, big strong arms. If you are attracted to them, there will be something that draws you in.

If there is NOTHING and they leave you cold, throw them back.

if you don’t want to shag them now- you sure as hell won’t want to when times get hard

(Oh, and now happily married to a gorgeous man who I want to pounce on regularly. very pleased I didn’t waste time on giving men I didn’t fancy a chance. Might have missed him.)

I wouldn’t waste any time on anyone I didn’t fancy and have sexual chemistry with. I would need to meet them at least once in person though to know for sure whether I fancy them. I need to see how they move, laugh, smile and whether I like how they smell 😆

There are men I’ve really fancied in real life that I would likely have swiped left on based purely on a photo. I need to actually see someone in person to know.

I have tentatively dipped my toes back in to OLD mainly via arranging quick coffee dates on my lunch breaks. The trend I have noticed is that very few people look like their photos and I'm usually the one not feeling the romantic/sexual "vibe". I don't see any point in giving it more time as for me attraction can come in many forms, as mentioned above by a pp, but something should be apparent on our first meet, at least an inclination to want to see someone again, find an aspect (s) of them attractive.

I wouldn't fancy someone from just a bit of chatting one. I never did.

I met up with men I thought I'd get on with and who I didn't look at and think - I'd be mortified if I bumped into anyone I knew if I were out with you.

I don't see how anyone could fancy anyone without at least talking to them face to face and seeing their mannerisms, being able to smell them etc.

Definitely have to meet them to see if you fancy them. I don’t think I’ve ever looked at a photo and been like, omg HOT! It’s more, are they even featured, do they not look like serial killer, good job, and nice chat - then chemistry has to come on meeting. The photo thing is just an initial filter for strong NOs and icky feelings. If they seem safe and nice - then meet up.

It's hard to tell what people really look like for old photos. Then there's voice, demeanour, posture etc etc.

Just meet then for a walk or coffee and see.b

You've got to meet them to figure out whether you fancy them. My now-DP looked ok in his photos, but I wouldn't have said I thought he was very attractive. Met him in person and it was a complete thunderclap of attraction!

I don’t think it’s possible to tell from a photo really. Attraction and chemistry is m hard to judge from a snapshot.
I think if the conversation is good; you have things in common; he is of general size (height, weight) you find attractive; his face isn’t an immediate 😳 - I’d have a quick coffee with the guy just to see what he is like in real life.
As you could be surprised.

A few if my dating friends went on first meets with guy that they would have discarded outright based on just face pics - (for a variety of reasons) - and actually ended up in relationships.

I agree.