i need some advice or just to write this somewhere even if just one person reads it.
background - I moved in with partner into his house with his dogs. He works from home. I work but am only out with my job for a few hours a day. I’ve lived with him for 2 years. he has no children and is in his 40s
I feel like I’m going mad!
i don’t recognise myself anymore.
I try so hard to do everything right by him. Cool nice meals, I don’t disagree with him, I do what he asks. I’m always honest with him about anything. I prove things when he doesn’t believe me like who I’m talking to etc where I’ve been. (It’s not all the time just once a week he’ll get a bit insecure)
but he’s a very negative guy. Always pointing out what’s wrong with the world. What’s wrong with other people. it’s draining.
he believes he is an emotionally intelligent guy and can read people after studying (on his phone) various labels.
I am a narcissist in his eyes. I’m called that a lot.
whatever I do or say is wrong. And if I get upset or break down I’m a cry baby.
everything could be nice one minute laying down together watching tv and he says something so I turn to look at him and he’ll accuse me of giving him an evil look and tell me he’s fed up of my ways.
no matter what I say he never believes me as he’s never wrong.
he accuses me of saying things I didn’t say and no matter what I say it just makes things worse and he says he can’t cope with my narcissistic ways.
I take the dogs out nearly everyday for him. Take them vets etc. I do what I can just to do the right thing.
hes a very messy guy. I can’t keep on top of it because it’s all his stuff and he doesn’t like not knowing where his stuff is, clothes, tools etc.
so I try and keep it folded or neat. But he comes the next day and throws everything around looking for something and leaves it back to a mess.
if I don’t do dishes once he has a go and says he’s always cleaning up after me and he’s getting sick of it.
if I do try and stick up for myself he will video record me on his phone and say it’s for his own protection.
I go out hiking a lot with the dogs. Just to get away and be on my own. The dogs and I will sit by a river and it’s just nice. It’s my escape.
he always says I said things when I didn’t. And he’s adamant and asks me how I can’t remember.
i don’t really have conversations with him and just generally say yes no or ok cool etc when he talks about himself as then I can’t say anything wrong or give the wrong opinion.
I have no where to go. I have no money or no one to go to.