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Relationships

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I'm confused about how to proceed with my crush at work.

8 replies

Pepsioercoke · 14/05/2023 23:00

I normally agree with the sentiment of not dating co-workers, but there's one girl who's had me wondering if I should make an exception. We generally don't talk a lot, but I've been wanting to make some type of move since I don't want to miss my shot with her. I've told all of this to a mutual friend and this friend explained to me that she would probably reject me, but not because she doesn't like me, but because she doesn't date co-workers either.

So here's my problem: I want to have a chance with this girl, but I don't know about leaving this job. There's also an issue in that I'm keeping in mind the possibility of her leaving this job as well. She just graduated college and got her degree, and that obviously means that she may be leaving for an actual career, as is the case with a lot of people here when they graduate. A couple of weeks ago, I could've swore I overheard her training a new hire for her exclusive position and it honestly sounded like she might've been training a potential replacement. And I also overheard her friend saying something about my crush being accepted somewhere, but I don't know where she was talking about.

This crush has also started to go out of her way to talk to me more often than she usually has in the past and her behavior has even come across as flirty. I'm not sure if she's doing this because she is indeed leaving or if she overheard that I was looking into a job switch. I'm just really confused about what to do here. I don't want to miss my shot with her, but I feel like my next move is dependant on her future with this job. Either she's leaving soon or she's staying and expecting me to leave. My next move hinges on which one it is and I don't know what to do going forward.

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 14/05/2023 23:09

'Hey, so you seem like a really fun/interesting person. Would you like to go out for a drink sometime after work?'

Then check her response. If she says no it's a no. If she hesitates it's also a no. You quickly just say 'no worries, can't blame a guy for trying'. No need to overthink it.

Pepsioercoke · 14/05/2023 23:17

Pinkbonbon · 14/05/2023 23:09

'Hey, so you seem like a really fun/interesting person. Would you like to go out for a drink sometime after work?'

Then check her response. If she says no it's a no. If she hesitates it's also a no. You quickly just say 'no worries, can't blame a guy for trying'. No need to overthink it.

I don't know. I still lean in the direction of not dating co-workers due to past experience.

Like I said, my next move probably hinges on whether or not she's leaving this job in the near future.

OP posts:
SaulSobieski · 14/05/2023 23:32

Well then just wait it out and see if she leaves.

In the meantime, be friendly and flirty.

Pepsioercoke · 14/05/2023 23:45

SaulSobieski · 14/05/2023 23:32

Well then just wait it out and see if she leaves.

In the meantime, be friendly and flirty.

That sounds easy, but I'm also in a position where I'm wondering if she's suddenly acting so flirty with me because she's expecting me to leave.

I've made some comments to other co-workers about possibly looking for a new job and I don't want to risk being in a situation where she's waiting for me to find a new job, but I end up staying because I'm waiting for her to leave, leading to her getting tired of waiting and moving on. That's the situation that I'm in and that's why I need to find out what's going on ASAP. My next move is completely dependant on that.

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 14/05/2023 23:51

Ask her if she's thinking of leaving in passing conversation then. Then make a next move based on that.

TAmum3 · 14/05/2023 23:53

I think you’re way over complicating this. If you like her, and she likes you and you end up having a relationship, then you’ll figure it out. In the meantime, all this overthinking about a girl you’ve barely even spoken to let alone had a date with, is quite off putting.
Start building a friendship and see what happens, or take the risk of her ending up dating someone who’s actually showing interest in her for her, and not thinking about who’s got to leave their job in order for this to happen!

vodkaredbullgirl · 14/05/2023 23:55

We seem to have at least 1 of these types of posts each week.

Pepsioercoke · 15/05/2023 00:29

TAmum3 · 14/05/2023 23:53

I think you’re way over complicating this. If you like her, and she likes you and you end up having a relationship, then you’ll figure it out. In the meantime, all this overthinking about a girl you’ve barely even spoken to let alone had a date with, is quite off putting.
Start building a friendship and see what happens, or take the risk of her ending up dating someone who’s actually showing interest in her for her, and not thinking about who’s got to leave their job in order for this to happen!

Me and her have been speaking more often than usual, so I like to think that we're building some type of rapport. She was basically the one who started things between us in terms of communication and I've tried my best to come off as flirty without being too creepy or overbearing.

OP posts:
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