Has anyone left TB and regretted it?

[Feetinthemudandleaves]

It seems like a lot of women on MN put up with fairly miserable lives with their OH and the advice is often you are worth more so you should LTB

I’m interested to hear what happens if you do LTB.

Do you end up even more lonely and miserable and regret it?

For context, I am trying to decide whether to stay living with partner who makes me miserable or leave and have to move from lovely home in a beautiful location. I have no friends and a toxic family so my concern is that I could regret ending up totally alone. I think I deserve better than he is treating me but maybe I don’t.

No, never regretted it.
Had to leave everything, job, friends, some family. It was very difficult to do without him finding out ( way too risky) . Took me maybe a year to fully get back on my feet . Started my own business, made a lot of money. Best revenge ever.

Well of course you do deserve better, if he is not treating you well. Nobody deserves to be treated badly.

That said, it may be better to stay in the short term for any number of reasons. Do you have kids?

That sounds really brave of you and very scary that you had to make plans without him finding out. My situation isn’t as dire as that, thankfully, but I guess it makes it more difficult to make the decision to go.

That’s just my side of the story though, his would be very different.

No kids, but lots of beloved animals who wouldn’t be able to come with me. I am so worried about them not being happy if they were rehomed.

Bumping for anyone else to share their experience, please

You’re probably not going to feel instantly happier, no. It’s not a straight yes or no answer. If you leave you may well have periods of regretting it, but the payoff comes after you get through that. It does take time to build up a life again but once you do then yes you will be glad you did it.

If you leave you have a good shot at longer term happiness, even if it is hard at first. If you stay, will you ever be truly happy?

Apart from money worries, I am very pleased that I left TB.

I don't care if I am alone. Since when is being alone a negative anyway?

I no longer have to put up with over the top affection followed by screaming tantrums, adultery and violence. Nor do my dcs. We are all much more relaxed and happy.

Divorce is a total pain in the ass though. Form Es etc.

I have felt peaceful every day of all the years since I left TB. Even the first day. Life is too short for a relationship that doesn’t build you up. I’ve ended up in a different country, one that I feel truly at home in, and have had perfectly fine years on my own before I met my DH who makes me feel beautiful, loved, and valued every day.
I hope you find your strength.