Do I ignore now or block and forget ?

[AnyaMarx]

I was online dating and have been single 4 years.

I'm off it all now and have given up . Had 100s dates .

However there is a guy I've been chatting with for 2 years. Never met .

2 weeks ago I asked if he'd like to give it whirl meeting . No pressure. He responded he thought I'd never ask and was about to give up !

2 days before the proposed date he sent a letter from hospital to say he had a cat scan booked and couldn't come . No problem ! I said we can reschedule.

We've continued chatting but it feels strained and weird now .

I've asked him now if he feels the time has come and gone to meet and said I'm perfectly happy to maintain a whats app friendship if that's what he would like .

It's been days without an answer.

I'm torn between leaving it and chatting when he decides to chat ( which he does ) we can go weeks without communicating.
Or just say enough and block . Or just leave it and not block .
Problem is I keep chatting and seems pointless if he's no intention of meeting.
I was t that bothered - he's not exactly made my heart flutter ! He just appeared to be nice , normal and friendly.

I'm a bit disappointed he had t just answered yes or no ! I'm fine either way. Said as much .
I'm not going to message again . Balls in his court . I just dont know whether to put it in mine and fuck him off .

We just fell into a friends zone I think . And then when I attempted to see if it
Might be something else
He got cold feet and went quiet .

Haggis .

I do not
Want to "get back out there " I have had dates with many many men now .

One left me a google review of 1* (the restaurant obviously but it was all about me ) because after one date he asked why I was still online

His pics were around 15 years out of date
He turned up in white ripped jeans as a 46 year old man
Boyband hair but grey
When I said no thanks to a second date his response was "you lose " and the. He wrote a review of the restaurant we had lunch at calling me a slag and said I looked 20 years older .....

So no - that was the last straw ! I've had around 100 online dates . 2 very short lived relationships from them . The rest was just absolute dross

I actually look in my late 30s , not bad for 51 . Bit recently I've had health issues , steroids have caused weight gain, I've lost confidence and do t want to get back out there . Not a chance .!
Happy doing my pottery , seeing friends , dog walking , and sleeping .

Bit sad today .

He'd become a bit of a regular in my life .

Had an occy health appt re my health issues and it was the mental health assessment- now while I'm absolutely fine- had to confess that I now feel I need to come to terms to being single for the rest of my life , and it's lonely . And scary .

I find many many positives around singledom after my last shitty lo g term relationship but sometimes it does feel unfair he just swanned off with his second ever online date and me - left here like this now getting old , crippled and fat !

https://youtube.com/shorts/G--Zy7dXaiM?feature=share

😂

That's me 😂

Is he insecure about his appearance? That might be why he chickened out of meeting.
but agree probably best to move on from him!

Dunno .
But he did keep sending naked pics from the waist up laid in bed - so he flowery thought he was alright .

(He was very pale , hairy and slightly overweight but I admired the confidence 😂😂)

slightly different situation OP, but I met a chap through a mutual friend about 7 yrs ago now. We both liked one another, swapped numbers and despite him messaging, we never did meet up.

Months went by with him keenly messaging, asking when I was free to meet, me sending dates, then he’d change the subject. This cycle went on for months. Thankfully I was dating so didn’t hold out for him.

Rather amusingly I still get the occasional message asking to meet and saying how much he likes me. He’s definitely single. I simply ignore him now. Some men are just time wasters and yours sounds like one of them. Goodness knows why they do this.

For what it’s worth OLD didn’t work for me either, it was a cesspit of shit men. I have lots of hobbies and find that’s a much easier way to meet an eligible partner.

Thanks - not just me then !

I just decided to be proactive and end the non event .

Yeah we could have continued messaging and me ooohing and arrrhing over his horse and his shows and his stunts .

But why .... really . I think he liked his ego stroking .

OLD didn't work for me either but I'm ok with it all now. I did OLD for about 4 years, from 41 to 45 and it got harder and harder. Even though I was slim and attractive like most other women my age, I could sense that my 'value' was low online but I had never valued myself more. I did meet up with him occasionally but I met a guy who was in another city and we fell in to messaging each other a lot. I realised eventually that he was massively avoidant. Eventually I gave up and he had the cheek to be annoyed. I'm off to spain this weekend, meet up with girlfriends, I have just stopped trying to meet somebody and I realised, it isn't the single that made me feel so flat, it was the looking.
Luckily I am not still hoping. That's the worst.

My goodness, he waited two years for you to ask him out??? I don’t care how shy he is, would you imagine what life would be waiting for him to find you a table or make a decision? Block and forget, you need a man not a mouse.

On his fb profile? That's weird. Is it some kind of message to you. I encountered a good few men who were happy enough to chat, and meet up but they were looking for a younger version. I was their age or a bit younger than they were but some of these men were still hoping to have children, and expecting a young woman to make up for their procrastination and avoidance.

OP, not sure if you noticed but there is a mobile phone number shown in that screenshot. You might want to ask mumsnet to remove it.

It's not actually his mobile number but I clicked anyway and have reported the post

No it was on his what's app.

He has grown up
Kids do t think that's the issue - I also have adult children. He is t looking for a baby mother .

He just isn't looking clearly!

He's made no attempt to
Contact me any other way and I just think the time had passed .

He made the right noises about meeting but when it came to it - he didn't .

I guess we could have remained friends online .
But it had suddenly got weird and awkward. Like he couldn't just be honest.

Tha number isn't his - but I've asked for a delete as not sure who's it is !

However there is a guy I've been chatting with for 2 years. Never met .

Sorry to say it OP but he's stringing you along. Probably married. If not, anyway a dubious character. I pity his wife could be dealing in dubious stuff

He's a liar and a chancer. That's for sure.

You deserve better!

Did you read any of my posts ? He is definitely not married for one .

He just wasn't interested- he wanted to show me his job and his horse and his skills - we've talked on phone and FaceTime and he's single . He lives near my adopted mum . He's only got time for his horse . He seemed to want to
Meet this time so I arranged something. And he renaged. And now I've had enough !

Good for you Op - sounds like he wanted his ego stroked so glad you've stopped doing that now. Sorry you feel sad & like you'll be alone forever but I've had quite few friends meet men when they were least expecting it (the old fashioned way through hobbies or mutual friends). You'll be ok whatever happens.

I'm becoming disabled from being a fit healthy active runner , cyclist, gym goer .

I don't meet anyone .

I think I just felt this could be my last chance at a date

Dating in your 50s is very very different to dating in your 30 s or even 40s .

I feel like that's it . All over for me now . In the past year I've gone from a fit active muscular woman with an active job to a fat cripple ! I've got what I believe is rheumatoid arthritis. I can't even get up the stairs - stark contrast to a year ago when I was running 10k 3 times a week and cycling and going to the gym . I was very fit , slim and attractive then .
And now I'm not . Im virtually housebound now , working from home , .
I feel like this is the end of that chapter of my life and the next is t going to be so good . No one is going to want to date me . Not now . I deleted my profiles a month ago . Im done !

Maybe he just didn't want to say that . Maybe he just didn't want to say I've seen a difference o we the two years and now I'm not interested- however he wasn't Brad Pitt so I thought maybe we'd been speaking long enough.

Just goes to show ! Not so hot looking men still expect a hot woman !