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Original poster

Can people really change?

11 replies

Frostfairy · 14/05/2023 16:26

I mean have you ever met anyone who had really changed and turned their life around for the better, and had really changed from their old ways?
I know that it's possible in theory but I wonder if anyone has ever seen it happen in real life.

OP posts:
Divorcedalongtime · 14/05/2023 16:29

I married someone who had changed. I was naive and when he talked about his past I thought it would stay in his past…

He was so high on life and couldn’t understand how he ever had relied on drugs to get those dopamine feelings (he said those words), fast forward years and 3 children and he is right back where he was.

j think if someone is to change and stay changed they need to work extremely hard and be very self aware for it to work.

Ladybug14 · 14/05/2023 16:37

Yes.....PP is right. To truly change it takes hard work. A lifetime of hard work. But it's possible

cantgetabus · 14/05/2023 16:39

My experience is that people don't/can't change unfortunately

Original poster
Frostfairy · 14/05/2023 17:54

Thank you

OP posts:
HarrietJet · 14/05/2023 17:56

No, people don't fundamentally change.

Original poster
Frostfairy · 14/05/2023 19:05

I guess for addiction issues it must be a constant battle. I wasn't sure about behavioural patterns and if those can permanently changed. Thanks all

OP posts:
Ladybug14 · 14/05/2023 19:27

I made a decision in 2000 to change. Various familial patterning that I wanted to stop with me and not continue

It's very very very hard

Every day I have to remind myself, even 23 years later

But I've done it. It probably took 15 years to really stick, if that makes sense

Original poster
Frostfairy · 14/05/2023 19:44

Ladybug14 · 14/05/2023 19:27

I made a decision in 2000 to change. Various familial patterning that I wanted to stop with me and not continue

It's very very very hard

Every day I have to remind myself, even 23 years later

But I've done it. It probably took 15 years to really stick, if that makes sense

That's great, I am really happy you made it work! :)

OP posts:
wholerhubarbcustard · 14/05/2023 19:46

I changed in 2015, many slip ups along the way but I'm here and alive. I went to uni and got a degree and have a job with a lot of responsibility. In my opinion yes people do change and there may be bumps along the way but it is possible.

betaglucans · 14/05/2023 19:49

depends entirely on the person. IMO men seem to have more difficulty turning things around (at least in my experience!). I realise this may sound sexist, and apologies if so I'm just talking with reference to the people I know. Women on the other hand I think are often more resilient and strong to deal with things and i think more likely to address the causes and do the hard work to shift things.

betaglucans · 14/05/2023 19:49

I've gone through a massively difficult situation and exited out the other side. So hard but I am much stronger because of it.

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