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Original poster

3am text

44 replies

CadburyDream · 14/05/2023 11:16

Is it normal for exes to message at 2/3am? I wouldn’t message anyone at this time but my ex always seems to think this is ok (I have spoken in the past about it) other people have said they wouldn’t be bothered about it so maybe I’m overthinking it and it’s fine? Im assuming it’s a drunk text but it just reminds me that he gets to go out drinking with his friends whilst I’m stuck in with the kids every night like he’s rubbing my face in it so maybe I’m just bitter and it’s ok to text at this time?

OP posts:
NewStartNow · 14/05/2023 15:13

Provided my children are with me, my phone is on "do not disturb ' between 11pm and 7am. Something you could try?

Original poster
CadburyDream · 14/05/2023 15:16

I'm going to set it. I didn't realise I could do that with just one number im not going to bother mentioning it to him again.

OP posts:
YouDoYouHun · 14/05/2023 15:17

crosstalk · 14/05/2023 15:13

I'm with @BadGranny. Just set your phone to only alert you to calls/texts from them between say 2100-0800.

This is what I.meant op, I just don't understand if it's bothering you, why you wouldn't and if its not bothering you, why you'd ask the question

determinedtomakethiswork · 14/05/2023 15:21

You only really need to read the text from him if your child is with him don't you? You should comfort yourself that he isn't a happy man, he can't find anyone to have sex with, and in the middle of the night, he is beset by demons.

Original poster
CadburyDream · 14/05/2023 15:21

As I said above I didn't know I could stop only his calls yes it does bother me that he thinks its OK to text at 3am. That's not normal in my book and I'm allowed to find it odd I do think people don't like it when someone mentions and ex and it must be you're secretly in love with them and wanting them back, no I just want to know why he thinks its ok not even my friends would think its OK to text at 3am and I wouldn't text my sister or parents even at those times unless it's an emergency

OP posts:
Original poster
CadburyDream · 14/05/2023 15:23

determinedtomakethiswork · 14/05/2023 15:21

You only really need to read the text from him if your child is with him don't you? You should comfort yourself that he isn't a happy man, he can't find anyone to have sex with, and in the middle of the night, he is beset by demons.

Thats my point I don't know why he's even thinking of me at 3am and thats not because I hope he is secretly in love with me, he makes my skin crawl we broke up a long time ago I don't know who he thinks he is texting at those times.

OP posts:
TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 14/05/2023 15:24

I'm sure there is a way to mute specific people so you could leave sound on for your parents but mute your ex at night?

Notanotherchange254 · 14/05/2023 15:28

Depends on the content of the text. I messaged my ex at 2am this morning because I was awake and had had a random thought about the kids. I forgot what the time was and knowing his phone is always off when he sleeps sent it anyway.

Sandybabey · 14/05/2023 16:13

@CadburyDream I don't know, I would never answer at that time, some kind of mind game I think

Original poster
CadburyDream · 14/05/2023 17:56

Sandybabey · 14/05/2023 16:13

@CadburyDream I don't know, I would never answer at that time, some kind of mind game I think

Yeah there is definitely an ulterior motive such an odd thing to do. Luckily me and him never have phone conversations.

OP posts:
Original poster
CadburyDream · 14/05/2023 17:58

Notanotherchange254 · 14/05/2023 15:28

Depends on the content of the text. I messaged my ex at 2am this morning because I was awake and had had a random thought about the kids. I forgot what the time was and knowing his phone is always off when he sleeps sent it anyway.

Ah see Its not an equal thing for us I don't contact him at all not even about the kids I don't inform him of anything about them as he barely sees them if he initiated contact I would respond but I don't contact him.

OP posts:
Songlines · 14/05/2023 18:51

I use Do Not Disturb on my phone between 10pm and 8am. I have it set so that only the people on my Favourites list can get through to me at those times so kids =Yes, ex = No!

5128gap · 14/05/2023 20:32

He's thinking of you at 3am because he's been out on the town and it's been a big let down. He hasn't pulled, it's the same old same old and he's thinking is this all there is? Then, like drunks do, he's thinking back with nostalgia on everything he used to have. He's been telling some random for the last hour how much he loves his kids and how he messed up...bla bla bla. Then suddenly decides he needs to reach out to you.
With a bit of luck, they usually get over it by the next morning.

Original poster
CadburyDream · 14/05/2023 20:35

5128gap · 14/05/2023 20:32

He's thinking of you at 3am because he's been out on the town and it's been a big let down. He hasn't pulled, it's the same old same old and he's thinking is this all there is? Then, like drunks do, he's thinking back with nostalgia on everything he used to have. He's been telling some random for the last hour how much he loves his kids and how he messed up...bla bla bla. Then suddenly decides he needs to reach out to you.
With a bit of luck, they usually get over it by the next morning.

Sounds about right!

OP posts:
Original poster
CadburyDream · 15/05/2023 00:26

Decided to give him a taste of his own medicine and text him back very late, not sure he appreciated it he was very off 😂

OP posts:
tribpot · 15/05/2023 00:32

If he barely sees the kids, why don't you just block him completely and unblock him once a month on the off chance he's sent something relevant?

Original poster
CadburyDream · 15/05/2023 00:34

Texts wouldn’t go through if he’s blocked? He has their numbers anyway so me blocking him will just look petty…

OP posts:
tribpot · 15/05/2023 00:44

You can get call blocking apps that will quarantine the texts until you want to see them, assuming this is SMS. I'm guessing however this is WhatsApp or similar? Why are you worried about looking petty to someone who you must have almost no need to have contact with?

Original poster
CadburyDream · 15/05/2023 00:47

Because he will tell them I’ve blocked him. If I’ve not responded to texts from him he will text the kids to tell them. No it’s not WhatsApp he’s already blocked on that it’s text, it’s an iPhone I’ve blocked people and never got any texts they’ve sent if I’ve unblocked them

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