Partner leaving me and nowhere to go

[Georgia123456]

Hello,
Long story short, a few months ago I reconciled with an ex who had cheated on me and emotionally abused me while we were together. It took every ounce of strength I had and every penny I had to rebuild and start over. I mistakenly reconciled with him because I trusted that things would be different this time. I handed in the notice on my rented house and moved back in with him. Of course, things haven't changed. I finally stuck up for myself and told him how I feel and what needs to change, and he has responded by telling me that we're done and I need to leave in the morning.

I dont have the money to pay a deposit and fees for another rental property, and obviously that takes time too. I live far away from my hometown, and even in that hometown there is nowhere to go (my parents live abroad now so thats not an option) and my only option would be to sleep on a family members sofa if they will have me. It will also mean having to quit my job with no notice and be unemployed, as if I was to find a family member who's sofa I can sleep on I wouldn't be able to commute 100 miles there and back again to work everyday.

I just don't know what to do, any advice would be welcome please xxx

How devastating for you. My advice would be to keep your job as the money you're earning gives you some power and options. Do you have a work colleague that you can talk to? Someone who knows the area well and has a wide circle of friends. Perhaps you can board with someone for a while, rather than finding a place of your own? Or there may be a church or social organisation locally that can help...e.g. Women's Refuge? You are essentially a homeless woman alone. Someone will be able to help you, you just need to ask. Good luck!!

I second trying to keep your job, does your job have Occupational Health/HR not sure who the correct person is but a person out of an abusive relationship with nowhere to sleep at the end of the work day would get to stay in Nurses Quarter’s in the hospital I work at. If you work at a Lawyers Office or Fast Food this clearly wouldn’t be an option.
Second Womens Aid. Your relationship sounds like it could have been abusive and you are homeless?

This happened to me .

I stayed with my ex husband for 3 months to save up a deposit on a new rental .

Is there anyone you could reach out to to stay with temporarily?
Do t leave your job .

How long have you been together? Tell him you'll consult a solicitor because you probably have more rights than you may think .

Could you move into a spare room or sleep on the sofa while you get a rental deposit together?

It's really difficult- but he can just make you homeless- do t leave without somewhere to go .

Tell him you'll live separately but you need time to save .
Or stay with a friend or colleague .

I was still in good terms with my ex hubby so I went there with a dog and a suitcase and stayed in the box room

My post was meant to say he can't just you homeless.

Look at all options .

Do not leave your job. That’s your lifeline, currently.

Could you look at a shared house near your work? Good luck.

Air b&b

Room in a shared accommodation
Friend ?

Im so sorry this is happening to you- it sounds awful.

A couple of practical suggestions:

• go onto spare room.com and see if you can get a cheap room in a house share. It won’t be ideal but would let you save.
• speak to hr at work and explain what’s happened. Ask if you can have an advance on wages to cover deposit and first months rent.
• Do you have any friends or colleagues close by who would rent you a room temporarily?
• would your parents be able to lend you deposit and first month rent?
• is there anywhere close by which is less than ideal but could work for a month whilst you save really hard? Youth hostel? Caravan park?

Keep your job as money is freedom. Tell them that you’ve been made homeless, lots of workplaces have domestic abuse policies too where you’ll be entitled to some extra days off to sort accommodation etc. speak to shelter / women’s aid / rent a spare room etc.

What sort of a person is he that he would throw you out when he knows you have nowhere to go? My bet is he didn't like you confronting him with his short comings and has threatened you with this. He might've changed his tune by today, once he's slept on it, but even if he has, just use the time to disengage with him and find somewhere else to live.

I wouldn't leave today. Tell him you need a week or so to find somewhere else. Does he have a spare room, or could you sleep on the sofa? Pack your stuff and leave it in the corner so he knows you have every intention of going.

Some excellent advice here. Renting a room in a house share is what people commonly do if there's only one person - here in London it's quite standard especially for young people early in their careers - I lived in a couple.

You've got to keep your job at least in the short term, but do think through where you want to be longer term. Planning your future can help you cope with your present. Good luck.

Op I guess you’ll need to present yourself as homeless when the local authority is open on Monday? Unless they have an out of hours number?

Also have a look at the shelter housing website as they have lots of info about housing/homelessness- I believe they may even have a helpline.

Prior to that do you have any friends or colleagues who could help for a few nights, either by giving you somewhere to stay or helping pay for a few nights somewhere?

When approaching the council I think you need to be clear the relationship was abusive.

What do you do and could you work remotely for a bit whilst you sort yourself out?

A not entirely dissimilar situation happened to me about 10 years ago - before when WFH was more normal. I was living in ex's place, found out he was cheating, had to leave suddenly with no one locally. I told work, explaining unless we could sort something out I would have no choice but to leave with immediate effect. They allowed me to work from the office 1.5 days with a late start on day 1. I would travel up from my parents 250 miles away on the first off-peak train on day 1, have in-person meetings all afternoon, stay overnight in a hotel, on day 2, pile up meetings on day 2, travel back to my parents and work the rest of the week remotely from there. It wasn't the best phase of my life, but work was really accommodating and got me through a rough month until I could sort out a place to live locally.