Purposefully excluded from friendship group

[thishasnotmyweek]

I recently moved city and have been making an active effort to make friends

I met this group of people through a meetup type thing and they were all new to the city as well / looking for friends

I’ve been hanging around with them quite a bit going to the events they’ve organised

I thought things were going alright, but then I found out they’ve made a new WhatsApp group without me purposefully to organise a trip they didn’t want me to join

One girl I’m closest to in the group asked why I’d been excluded and the girl who made the group said ‘it was nothing personal’ she just didn’t feel like she knew me that well yet

I am a naturally shy person whereas a few of the people in this group are very loud and I find them intimidating. So I understand where they’re coming from but also feel a bit judged and now feel totally shit about myself. The girls who’ve excluded me haven’t made much effort to get to know me either.

Should I keep trying to get to know them? Or cut my losses and accept they’re not my people. It’s not easy to make friends in this city so this is a real blow for me :(

Cut your losses. They’re not you’re friends, they’re not worth your time and effort

They're arseholes and people
Who follow arseholes - cut your losses and find decent people

Thats horrible op. Let them off do you want friends like that no. I find grown women are nasty at times.

Cut yr loses.

Yes, move on. You sound lovely and deserve to find some like minded people. What a bitch she is btw. If anything, a lucky escape. Nasty queen bee type…

Perhaps try to arrange things with the women that you do get along with, the politics of larger groups are so tricky, especially where personality types differ.
I'd definitely be more inclined to hang out with you than the loud girls

Sadly with situations like this, some people do just click more than others. Keep trying other groups.

They are mean as fuck. Start a book group - you could do it on Meetup or just advertise locally. Join a walking group - its easy to chat when you are walking.

They sound like mean girls. Don't feel bad about yourself...if anything it's a compliment.

Just stick with the girl you asked on your behalf- offer to meet up just you and her
will soon get back to them and they could invite you in future but don’t bank on being friends

it feels crap they didn’t include you but I’d rather someone be truthful rather than reluctantly include me and if they don’t feel like they know you well than that’s fine
some ppl can’t be bothered to take more time to get to know someone if they’ve easily made friends with the others

maybe try and find ways to be more confident
I’m like you shy and a bit quiet I don’t get invited anywhere but I’m cool with it

Thank you, yes you’re right some of the group have just clicked and it’s a shame I haven’t clicked with them in the same way but I’m trying not to take it personally

A book club sounds like a good idea - I will try that