Mental health not improving following marital breakdown

[Helpots]

I've posted on here quite a few times lately.

H left me 7 weeks ago tomorrow and I'm still really struggling, I just can't stop obsessing, he's constantly on my mind, I'm ruminating, I'm dreaming about him, reading old loving messages and emails, constantly analysing.

I miss him and our life together so much and I'm petrified for the future without him.

Family and friends are now moving on from supporting me, I'm alienating everyone with my incessant obsessive talk about him and the marriage.

It wasn't even that great a relationship at times and had become abusive, mentally and emotionally and latterly started to show signs of physical abuse.

I can't accept it's over. I feel that my life has no purpose and tbh, at times I'm having dark thoughts.

I have a private counsellor and waiting to start CBT

Will I ever be remotely happy ever again? Should I still be feeling like this after 7 weeks? I am ill

I've been here
Only time helped for me I'm afraid but have you been to the doctors to discuss anti depressants ?
It's good you've already got counselling lined up

Hi, thanks for replying. I've been my GP several times, he doesn't want to give me AD yet, he's referred me to CBT but waiting for the referral to come through. Please tell me I'll get through this? He's been awful to me and yet I still keep hoping he'll come back, even though I know it won't work

You'll get through this and one day you'll look back and wonder what you ever saw in the bastard
Have you been honest with your doctor about how low you are feeling though ?

Yes I have, I ended up at hospital 5 weeks ago because I'd reached rock bottom. I've been referred to a mental health nurse but first appointment isn't until the end of the month

I'm very surprised your doctor won't consider medication at this point . I would push them or speak to a different doctor .

@Helpots

I hear you and totally feel what you are saying . You are grieving your old life and your marriage . That's no small thing, you've had a massive change to your life and your identity and your reaction is totally normal, reasonable and understandable.

I am here if you want to talk and happy for you to pm me.

I have recently undergone hypnosis for anxiety and other things created by a big change in my life and it's honestly made me see much clearer. I've been rewatching this YouTube video over and over again as it makes total sense to me - it's all about grief and how grief is not just about death but about life and how people grieve over things like moving house or losing a job or losing a marriage etc ...it's lead by Dipti tait and Tim box who are both well known hypnosis experts - can highly recommend watching and I hope it makes sense to you as it did me :) happy to chat in pm if you need to

@Helpots p.s 7 weeks is such a short time ! Be kind to yourself - your feelings are totally valid and justified

Thank you @buttercuplad that’s so kind of you. I just want to stop feeling this way, it’s overwhelming and scary for me. I’ll watch that video when I get chance - I need to rebuild my self-esteem x

It's natural to feel miserable and depressed after such a big disruption in your life. Be kind to yourself. Try to go for a walk everyday, it will lift your spirits. Smile at strangers even when you don't feel like it. Take one day at a time. One day when you love yourself and your life you will have new genuine relationships. You have escaped an abusive relationship. Well done xx