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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Inappropriate work crush. Help!

29 replies

ChrisTrepidation · 12/05/2023 07:14

I need some tips for getting over this because I am currently feeling like a sad pervy old woman :(

I'm 44 and have a completely pathetic crush on a 24 year old work colleague. We are both female (I'm bisexual)

I've been single for 3.5 years since my ex husband walked out on me and our very young DC. I don't get any opportunity to meet people in real life and my opportunities are already pretty limited by the fact I don't want to date men anymore. I've tried dating apps but have gotten no where. I did go on a couple of dates with a woman last year but for numerous reasons I decided not to pursue any further.

I'm only in the office with this young woman a few times a week but find myself getting so excited on the days I know we'll be working together. I think about her loads on the days she isn't around and just thinking about her makes me feel so happy.

I know it's pathetic, won't ever go anywhere and I should be ashamed but I don't know how to stop myself.

I need advice from others who have dealt with inappropriate, unrequited crushes please. I already feel like an utter loser in love and this really isn't helping.

OP posts:

MorrisZapp · 15/05/2023 22:58

ChrisTrepidation · 12/05/2023 17:02

@Gcsunnyside23 I would never make her feel uncomfortable. She has zero idea I fancy her. We get on really well but I would never say or do anything inappropriate.

@MorrisZapp I'm glad you found your crush a positive thing. Was your crush a similar age though? I just find mine depressing because I know I'm too old for her and she'd never be interested (and it wouldn't be right to take it further even if she was)

My crush was younger, yes. 35 to my 48. And in a happy relationship. As am I. The whole thing was laughable but luckily it burned itself out without anything untoward happening.

MissTrip82 · 15/05/2023 23:17

Banditdog · 12/05/2023 08:33

I agree ashamed is a bit harsh, but perhaps embarrassed would be suitable.

And no we haven’t all had fantasy’s / crushes on people twenty years younger than us. I expect if OP was a man he would have had a less sympathetic response.

Show quote history

Lol. You think men considering relationships with younger women are given a harder time then women doing the same?

Hahahahahahahahahahahaah.

What an extraordinary experience of life you’ve had.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 15/05/2023 23:43

It just means you are ready to date. Join a dating site and have fun!

agree . It’s spring , your sap is rising !

you know you could go online tomorrow and have very specific profile and be chatting to people in RL by the weekend

I’d try and find someone who you have a more viable chance with

Thisisworsethananticpated · 15/05/2023 23:45

And ignore the age gap nastiness

a crush is a crush
just be mindful that given the age gap it could land badly in a professional environment

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