Abusive ex using new girlfriend to communicate about access

[TitaniumTess]

Top level background.....abusive ex. I got rid of him (you don't get rid of them) but he's out of the house...

He had another girlfriend last year who he also abused. He's now ensnared a vulnerable fellow school Mum who has no idea what happens next as he's still in lovebombing. Eeek.

My ex took me to court.....and is using it to continue the abuse....I blocked him ages ago on WhatsApp as he kept bombarding me with messages....we're communicating via texts.

However...he is now using his new girlfriend to communicate via WhatsApp about access to our child.

I think it's him playing mind games...showing me the new girlfriend...and showing me he's penetrated my WhatsApp again which I check much more often....etc etc

Advice.....??? I think I am bright and breezy to her but go back to text messages to discuss access with him.

Block her as well. Why even engage and give him the satisfaction? You're being too polite x

Block her. Why on earth would you engage her in any conversation about YOUR kids? Absolutely do not speak to her about them at all.

It's a fair point thanks. Maybe I am being too soft.

They're all playing happy families currently, very quickly. All kids together. She's in a vulnerable position and can't see as he is all dreamt like he was with me at the beginning.....

My ex did this, well tried but it was through email,1 email was all she got & blocked,she's made multiple email addresses since to message me, blocked all,I replied last time as it was informing me that ex is not living at her house anymore so my kids can't do their 1 overnight a week, I just said thanks for informing me & blocked. Our kids are between us no one else so if we communicate about them it's the 2 of us,he's had her writing back to me on his wattsapp (I know it's her by how messages are written) & if it's not about the kids I don't reply as anything else is irrelevant to me

I think it depends on what's easiest for you. if she's pleasant and polite and reasonable, I'd be inclined to continue going through her as then you don't have to deal with him. Although depending on the level of his control and shitty behaviour, you might want to CYA with messages to him to confirm or whatever.

But obviously, as things deteriorate, expect things to change.

I suppose, brightside is she is nicer to talk to right? But are you even sure it IS her? And not just him on a different number?

I'd go with something like-

'Hi dear, I don't mean to be rude but I cut my ex from my life (and my whatsapp) for good reason and so I don't really want to be messaging you on here either. I mean, it's a bit weird, don't you think? He knows he can message regarding the kids contact, so just leave it to him in future. Thanks'

Block her.

I think it's him playing mind games...showing me the new girlfriend...and showing me he's penetrated my WhatsApp again which I check much more often....etc etc

And then this all ends.

Thanks. I've been polite but suggested that we discuss access via text between me and my ex.....as we're meant to.

She really doesn't understand what position she's in.

Yeah thats why I suggested saying 'it's not bit weird don't you think?'

That way she might think for herself 'oh, actually yes it is strange he asks me to do this'.

Hopefully she's took the hint though.

Now block her.

Thanks. I have. Peace again. Xxx

Youve done all you need to. I wouldnt have replied at all.