Do you ‘plan’ sex

[Mimmin]

By plan I don’t mean strict boring , I just mean kind of hinting like … “I want to tonight” along those lines

some context: I’ve always had a higher sex drive really! Even early on my fiance of course worships me and I can see he finds me attractive but is quite reserved with approaching sex? Where I’d outright say it and he’s fine with that he just doesnt

now we have a baby (16mo) and I feel so less sexy! I always just want to sleep or lay down when he’s in bed (after we’ve both been at work all day) and feel guilty for this. I find my fiancé attractive and love him I just can’t be bothered with sex!

so now I make an effort to say let’s have sec at least once a week because we do enjoy it , a lot , when we have it. But the general tiredness of parenting, work and keeping a home (very lucky to do all these things❤️) makes us a bit lazy!

Yes 😊
We need to cos we're tight on time and childcare plays a big part too.
However it doesn't need to be as dry as that.
We send each other sexy messages and talk about what we want to do, and make it obvious it's on the table, build up the anticipation. Works a charm, it's exciting and doesn't feel 'scheduled'

Sometimes we like to plan then build it up for a couple of days. Other times when we are cuddling in bed he'll ask me how I'm managing without playing with his cock. Sometime I ask how his penis is.

We're dead romantic us 😂

But we do have exceptionally loving, connected sex 😂

When I saw the title I thought - yes, because we have a 16 month old😆 you are not alone!

Occasionally I plan - if telling him I’ve shaved my legs counts!
We both have high sex drives though so tend to be doing it daily anyways.

We've got 4 kids, sometimes we have to schedule it in. We've got into a good routine though around naps and empty house times. We sort of just notice we have 5 minutes alone ahead of us and go for it. We do it almost every day!

We have fairly low sex drives so aim for once a week, usually a Friday night so we both just kind of know 😂

Yep. It works well for us as kids have now flown the nest and we have hobbies that take up evenings and jobs that mean getting up super early for one of us so planning an 'early night' seems to work. I can see that it would be easy for it to slip down the priority list after 10 years if we didn't take the time to plan. It never feels unsexy either which has surprised me.

Yes. Kids are 8 & 12 so stay up a bit later these days plus one is often in our bed
Fortunately we both have Friday afternoons at home so utilise that

Yes...ish
Dp works away and I have a 5 yr old DD who stays at her dads 1 night a week.
So we know its going down Friday night/Saturday night.
We will take advantage just before dd wakes on Saturday morning by a quick 'slip it in while spooning' lol. It feels spontaneous but with only 3 nights together a week and a 5 year old in the house, there's only so much we can do lol

Don't get me wrong I'm a tired ass bitch all the time but we make sure atleast twice every weekend. He's a pleaser so I'm very happy lol

yes, plenty of hinting and occasionally planning a weekend away

We are always very cheeky and flirty but we have adopted an unwritten rule of every other day something sexy happens.

If we want to go in between and the chance arises great. If it's obvious neither of us are feeling it we give it a miss. Otherwise if yesterday was a no sex day then we can be confident today would be.

Sounds a bit crazy trying to explain but works well for us 🤣

No planning here, but we never plan anything and are spontaneous in many ways.

No, I'd find that a real turn off.

Yes otherwise it gets squeezed out!

We have had very little sex in recent years and are out of the habit but are actively trying to rectify this which is why we have to plan it in.

Yes in that I prefer the house to be empty, teenagers don’t need to hear that

But we both work from home usually 3 days a week, so as soon as they’ve gone to school before we start working

I think it's fairly common to with young children because otherwise it's easy to be the ball that gets dropped. It's important to take time for your spouse and if that means planning/making time specifically then so be it.

Sometimes we plan it, book time off work and take advantage of an empty house in the middle of the day.

Sometimes we postpone it, eg until the dc are asleep, which is another kind of planning.

If we’re booking a night away I’d check where it fell in my cycle.

It’s pretty hard to be spontaneous except in that brief interlude between sneaking around behind your kids.

But that said, we have a lot of sexual and non sexual touch going on all the time. I don’t think I could just turn it on. The anticipation is part of the fun.

Yes, I plan it every time. My partner has very predictable cues and preferences that I comply with whenever I want it. It works without fail!

Dp you have young kids? If not then count your efforts lucky (or perhaps you do but they actually dont mind sleeping alone - also lucky you!). Some of us have to plan otherwise we'd never be able to do it...

Excuse my typos. I'm still half asleep with my toddler sleeping next to me😅

Excuse my typos. I'm still half asleep with my toddler sleeping next to me😅