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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Odd situation at work unpredictable colleague questions

19 replies

Zenana · 10/05/2023 08:20

Morning, I'm posting here because it's a mix of a work situation and characteristics of someone at work.

We work in an art & design department of a further education college. This is relevant! A man who works in our department came in and said his neighbour had told him about fittings etc being sold off at his workplace which was a restaurant and one was a great pine table for £30. One woman said she'd rather like it so the man went to collect it and brought it in the next day. The woman was surprised and seemed unsure at first but everyone was busy and I don't think definite arrangements had been made.

The man seemed to take umbrage. When she later approached him about the table he says it's in your office, she found it chopped up in a black bin bag as he'd put it through the circular saw machine. This seems to me that it is crazy behaviour all I think because she didn't seem grateful enough.

It's unsettling and I don't really want to be around him. He's always been pleasant enough but he says he doesn't suffer fools. I don't like to talk about colleagues at work so how would you proceed perhaps keep out of his way?

OP posts:
TuesandThursNero · 10/05/2023 08:30

How odd.

well yes, just keep your distance but given you do anyway and with others…. Just carry on as you are

Doyoumind · 10/05/2023 08:32

That's pretty unhinged.

thesockfairydidit · 10/05/2023 08:32

This actually sounds a bit terrifying tbh, I would escalate this to management it’s threatening

Fillyfrog · 10/05/2023 08:34

That is seriously worrying behaviour!

Did she say she didn't want it after all? Not that it excuses what he did...

tikkanaan · 10/05/2023 08:35

I'd give him a wide berth

Zenana · 10/05/2023 08:37

@Fillyfrog she did want the table but I think she was taken aback he went and got it off his own bat.

OP posts:
FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 10/05/2023 08:37

Personally I wooden go near him.

80s · 10/05/2023 08:38

Does everyone in the office know about this? Will it filter naturally through to management? If so, he might think she's reported him even if she hasn't. That could put her in a risky position.

80s · 10/05/2023 08:39

Did she give him the thirty pounds?

Zenana · 10/05/2023 08:39

80s · 10/05/2023 08:39

Did she give him the thirty pounds?

I'm not sure but I would hope not.

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 10/05/2023 08:41

I certainly wouldn't stand between him and the circular saw.

LakeTiticaca · 10/05/2023 08:42

I think you're right to be concerned.
Very weird behaviour. What does the colleague who wanted the table think about it?

Redburnett · 10/05/2023 08:45

Report to your manager, that sort of unreasonably angry reaction suggests he is not safe to be around students anywhere near dangerous equipment.

80s · 10/05/2023 08:45

Zenana · 10/05/2023 08:39

I'm not sure but I would hope not.

So he likely reckons she's put him out of pocket?
Maybe a male workmate could ask him why he did it, see how creepy the answer is?
If it's likely to get through to management, in her position I think I'd bring it up with them myself to make sure I knew if they were planning to speak to him. And I'd watch out for him stalking me.

tikkanaan · 10/05/2023 08:46

It's also using school equipment for personal use. So he should be given a warning or sacked for that.

determinedtomakethiswork · 10/05/2023 09:22

That sounds really terrifying. He isn't a stable person and I wouldn't raise the subject myself but would immediately go to management.

sonjadog · 10/05/2023 09:22

I would find that slightly terrifying. And I work in academia so I am used to weird. I think if I were your colleague, I would mention this to your departmental leader.

billy1966 · 10/05/2023 15:09

Redburnett · 10/05/2023 08:45

Report to your manager, that sort of unreasonably angry reaction suggests he is not safe to be around students anywhere near dangerous equipment.

This.

That is seriously aggressive unhinged behaviour.

Confirm your conversation of discomfort by email with your manager.

That is a very angry response.

I would be most concerned at him being around women and students, to say the least.

Document your concern.

TuesandThursNero · 10/05/2023 15:30

I certainly wouldn’t report. Instead I would speak with my colleague and urge her to report and if she doesn’t want to report herself for any reason - then ask her if she would feel comfortable with me reporting, knowing that she will likely be called in to give more detail

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