Hi, so I have, well had, what I thought were two really good friends that go back years and years (now in our 50’s). One friend has been struggling quite badly over the past few years, to a point she doesn’t always want to talk/meet up as she just cries every time bless her and doesn’t want to go into the reasons why. I have respected this, but it has also meant she hasn’t been able to be there for me when I’ve needed someone. I haven’t said this to her as I don’t want to make her feel bad, but on top of this, the other friend has been very flaky all of this year so far. One week we would be in contact nearly every day, laughing about something or another and taking the piss out of eachother, normal old time friend stuff, then she will just go quiet on me. It’s seems like this has now come to a head of not talking to me at all. Now, I know they are both having shit times and I’m not trying to put them down in anyway, I understand that, but this does leave me feeling completely isolated with no one to turn to. I don’t have a single friend that I can talk to if I need to and trust me, I have needed to. I’m not saying I blame them in anyway for my lack of friends, I’m just explaining their situations for a bit of context on how I’m feeling and why. I love them both dearly and this isn’t really about my relationships with them, just more about how to deal with feeling like this. I guess I’m just upset about never being able to talk about or share anything with anyone. I’ve had some seriously shit times myself that neither of them know about, but also some really happy times that would be nice to share, but I just can’t and it’s a very lonely feeling. I’m even worried about posting this a bit, as I really do hate upsetting other people (which they both know), it really does make me feel sick and ill and id hate for either of them to read this and think it’s a dig at them in anyway, as it really isn’t, I just need to express my feelings somehow, which I can’t do to either of them directly without it coming across like I’m trying to guilt trip them. I do feel let down by them, but that isn’t actually their fault and I know that. How can I stop overthinking this and move on? It’s not like it’s easy to make new friends these days. I think I must let off some kind of vibe that just makes people run a mile. I only ever talk about anything personal if asked, but that’s usually after I have listened for a good half an hour or so about the other persons problems, so it’s not like I’m trying to burden them with my issues constantly, I just don’t get it. I’m grieving the loss of my 2 best friendships, so please be kind. I know that may sounds dramatic, but that’s how it feels to me.