Feeling excluded from my boyfriend's social life :(

[princess94]

My boyfriend went out with his male friends last night... They've all known each other for years, bf and i live together and he's only inteoduced me to 2 of his friends for a very short time.

He was socialising with his friend's girlfriend while he was away, i never met her... Other guys in the group were facetiming their girlfriends and everyone said hi to them... But my BF only rang me when he walked away from the group, and nobody wanted to say hello to me. I feel like he's ashamed and embarrassed to ve with me, im older than him and fat, the other girlfriends are lovely and slim, it might sound vain but i wish he'd facetime me, show me off, introduce me, have his friends say hi like they all did to the other girlfriends... I am probably being stupid but I feel so unwanted and left out. I feel like the only one being hidden away, worthless and ugly and fat and unimportant.

Yes i know im being stupid. Itjust really hurts, being treated so differently, while the other girlfriends are included in one way or another. :(

Do you know that he actually enjoys saying hi over FaceTime to his friends partners?
Maybe he finds it an interruption to a 'lads' night out?
I went away recently for my friends 40th, and honestly almost every hour... if it wasn't her husband FaceTiming it was her children, and I got fed up of it! We paid £200 to go away for her 40th and we may as well have just gone to her house for a night in with her family!

I think you need to just be straight with him and ask him why he does it and see what he says

It's just that i was the only one who didn't get that. The one mate of his who interacted with me sent me a very rude message in my native language... I've never met him and when i complained to my partner he said im being a psycho because it was just a joke, even though i found it genuinely rude.

Dont know, i just feel like a joke, unwanted and excluded, i wish i was treated like the other women is all.

Hi @princess94 i think the same as @cpphelp
Honestly please don't think anything negative about yourself x

Why was your bf socialising with his pals gf in the pals absence? Was anyone else there? Was he helping her with something or whatever ie good reason/had to be involved. Or is he up to no good with her? Sounds a bit weird. Unless he knew her for years and they’re just mates and hanging together is the norm.

Im old so not into the whole “FaceTiming while out” thing. TBH it sounds a bit like the gfs don’t trust their partners so have to spy on them. Perhaps that’s the way it is nowadays?? Different times?

As for your bf leaving the group to call you and you saying none of the group want to say hi to you, it feels like you are being hidden and they prob didn’t know he was calling you so they didn’t get the chance to say hi.

It does feel like either your bf is hiding you or keeping his business to himself, or the group disapprove of you and he wants to see you despite this so hides you.

All sounds a bit weird. What age is he? How much older are you and how much overweight are you?

The gf joined them at the pub as they were all staying at their house, i was not invited and never met either of the couple.

My bf is very image conscious and vain, before going out he was preening and primping for hours, he likes to look good. I am 29, he is nearly 27.

I am very overweight atm but slowly losing weight, crap hair, crap clothes... From what I've seen the other women are pretty and slim, thats why i feel he's embarrassed, he doesn't have an arm candy like his friends do.

You should not be with anyone who calls you psycho, whether in so many words or implied.

Why would this man be with you if he was embarrassed by you? He made a choice to be with you.

However, you should not be in a relationship that makes you feel this bad. He seems to be keeping you away from your friends. Does he ever invite you out with them? Seems like there were other women on the night out, his friends gf. So why not invite you?
This relationship will chip away at your confidence op. It's harmful to you to be with this man if he is in fact ashamed of you, relationships should lift us up and make us feel great.

Why are you with this man?
How long have you known him?
Why are you living with him?
How often does he call you psycho and similar?
Why do you Iet him treat you like you don't matter?

Lots of questions, OP.
I suspect the answers will tell you why this relationship is not good for you.
I think you should leave him and work on your self esteem.

My God - this man is harming your self esteem. You need to get away from him. He calls you “psycho”?

how can someone be in a relationship with you and treat you like this? You do not deserve this.

please leave him. Just love on yourself a lot, talk yourself up and hold your head up- you are not a lesser being, to be treated like this.

You sound like you're being pretty tough on yourself.

Surely your bf wouldn't be with you if he wasn't attracted to you?

Do you genuinely feel like you've got "crap hair, crap clothes" and is it something you want to change or you're happy as you are?

No one should feel pressured to change the way they look to suit someone else but if it's something you want to do for yourself then go for it.

But nothing you wear or how you look will outshine your personality, if this is not enough for your bf then he's not the right man for you.

And the psycho comment? Plain wrong.

you're not being stupid - things like this cut deep because the way you feel is absolutely valid and normal response to how he is behaving

and his reaction to his friend sending you a rude message was rude in itself. jokes are only funny if the person they are directed at is laughing - and you were not, so the other guy should have apologised and your boyfriend should have sided with you