We separated 6 weeks ago after 8 months of increasingly toxic arguments, stemmed from his mental health, his inability to communicate, an 8 year unsuccessful infertility journey and hormonal difficulties on my part. He told me he no longer loved me and wanted out and moved to his mums where he remains.
since then, he’s completely blocked me, he’s said he needs space. He’s in regular contact with 20 yr old DD but is so acrimonious towards me.
I got to agree to talk yesterday, we met in a neutral place. He made clear that we are not reconciling but during our conversation, he told me he was still really unhappy at his mums, that he’s got nothing to do, that he doesn’t like to go places as people are in couples etc. all of his friends are married with families.
I asked him if he missed me, he said he wasn’t prepared to answer that but then told me that missing one another wasn’t just about date nights and weekends away, but that you can miss being in the house together doing mundane things and watching boxsets etc. I told him I missed this too. He also told me that he’s missing my parents but that’s not a reason to reconcile.
I'm going on holiday tomorrow with DD. I’ve told him I can’t live in limbo and that I may have to consider starting divorce when I get back, how would he feel. He said he didn’t know. He didn’t know a lot of things, I put to him that he clearly didn’t know what he wanted - he took umbrage with this but still couldn’t give me clear answers.
I think he’s concerned that his mental health will spiral again if we try to reconnect and I understand that - for my part, I can’t carry on living in this hell. But I still love him, deeply. He asked me why didn’t I go and look for someone who ticked all my boxes, told him that he ticked enough boxes and that he’s my husband and I would prefer it to stay that way.
he’s Refusing to unblock me, he said the amount of text messages I’ve sent him have caused him stress (I accept that I have, I’m impulsive, I recognise this is something I have to work on). We communicate via email or our family WhatsApp group.
I noticed that he’s still wearing the bracelet that I bought him on our wedding day - am I reading too much into this?
he’s going to look after the house whilst we’re away etc. but doesn’t want to stay here
my dads told me he thinks there’s a glimmer of hope, and that if he won’t say whether he misses me or not, then he must be missing me as otherwise he’d say not. My dad is very pragmatic and told me that if I want my marriage, then fight for it.
can I ask for other’s opinions on my convo with husband please?
apologies for lengthy post, I’m desperately seeking answers!