Can men change for the better and what instigates it?

[Waffley]

I know a lot of people say that men don't change, however, from a distance I do see small changes in some of my friends husbands in more successful marriages where there were once issues.

My friend has a lovely, loving, affectionate marriage but he was once a pub loving, beer guzzling joker who barely spent time with her. She threatened to leave him and he changed. This was 15 years ago. They joined a fitness club together and made mutual friends, him leaving his pub friends behind.

It got me wondering, if a man does change for the better, what instigates the change in him? Mostly wanting to hear from women whose husbands have changedcertain behaviours or beliefs for the better. Do they mostly change for themselves? Is it distance to get them to think about their behaviours? Ultimatums?

Obviously I understand that some men just don't want to and never change.

1. peer pressure
2. love
3. ageing and maturing
4. dealing with the consequences of their actions

I'm going to take a cynical view on this. People change when they realise they have very limited options left: age, you loose your looks, haven't quite achieved what you thought you would when younger, dating is as rag and probably by this point there's only the dreaded apps left, you're left behind so to speak, all your peers and family are "settled" so you do what's necessary because otherwise you'd be left on the shelf. Fear of being alone and lonely.

*dating is a real drag/can't be bothered to go through all that again