I stay out of family affairs and prefer to offer support or advice when prompted, but a current situation has come to light and made me feel concern.
Backstory; brother and his girlfriend have been together for 5 years and have a 6 month old baby. Their relationship has always been difficult. My parents have encouraged him to leave on many occasions after witnessing abusive behaviour she has shown towards my brother. Now there is a baby involved he doesn’t want to split a family, understandably, but it’s clear she is taking him for a ride.
We visited them today and after a disagreement they had, I heard her mutter ‘you wait til were alone’. I asked my brother if he is okay and he said yes. Before we left he confided in me that he’s struggling with the baby as he does everything for her. Bearing in mind he works 9 hour days, he also does night wakes (she’s always been a bad sleeper) every couple of hours, he also done all night feeds when she was younger. He’s clearly exhausted and confessed he fainted from fatigue at work recently. His girlfriend refuses to wake for the baby and spends the day at her parents house so they can feed and change her nappies until my brother comes home. I suggested she may have PND and should speak to a professional, but he hinted there is more to it. Now I have thought about it, I have never seen a maternal bond between her and baby, and we have spent a lot of time together in the last 6 months. She rarely holds her and tuts and walks away if baby groans or begins to cry.
As I said I don’t like to interfere or assume anything, but her coldness towards my brother and the baby has made me wary.
Can anyone advise on this please? Even if it’s to say mind my own business! I know all mums are different, but I get the impression she doesn’t enjoy her baby and my brother is suffering as a result. I don’t believe she’d hurt the baby so that’s not what I’m implying, I guess I worry that there’s potential for further abuse towards my brother and possibly child neglect.