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Original poster

Good experiences with online dating wanted...

17 replies

peppaspal82 · 04/05/2023 23:21

I've been single for two years now and downloaded a couple of apps months ago. I've not matched or chatted to anyone that I've been attracted to or held my attention. However, at the weekend I began speaking to a really nice guy. We can't actually meet up until the end of this month as both crazy busy... I'm anxious talking for over a month is going to build it up to be something and then when we meet one or both of us are going to be really disappointed! I know I should probably instigate a phone chat between now and then, but the idea fills me with dread (even though I'm a confident, social person in real life)!

Can anyone share their online dating success stories? Has anyone had similar... chatting for ages before you meet?

OP posts:
camping2023 · 05/05/2023 01:22

I always call before I meet

Saves time and effort if you don't get on
Video call as well !

Summer2424 · 05/05/2023 02:18

Hi @peppaspal82 could you both do a video call? I think that will help x

Watchkeys · 05/05/2023 08:45

There's nothing to say you 'should' call. The only 'should' is that you should do what you want to do, rather than whatever anybody else thinks you ought to do. So if you don't want to call, don't. Set a date, tell him that you don't think a month of messaging is a good idea, and meet him in a month.

'Do what you want' isn't emphasised heavily enough, ever, to anybody. You're an adult. Aside from laws, there are no 'shoulds'.

WatieKatie · 05/05/2023 10:30

When I was OLD I didn’t message for too long, moving things to a video call via the app. That way I got to see them, how we connect albeit remotely and whether it was worth moving on to a date. Honestly it saved me so much time that would have been wasted as more often than not they were nothing like their photos or description.

SunflowerTed · 05/05/2023 23:36

Married my online date! Been together 15 years!

toddlermom1 · 05/05/2023 23:55

Married my OLD we now have 3 kids together! It took patience though with some of these sites

Citadel8 · 05/05/2023 23:59

Waiting that long to meet without any call or zoom etc could lead to disappointment.

DuchessOfEndor · 06/05/2023 00:42

Not a month, but we made plans to meet up and he tested positive for covid that morning, so it ended up being two weeks. We did not video chat before. It didn't end up working out long term, but we dated for 10 months and it was a good relationship.

bloodywhitecat · 06/05/2023 00:47

I only had one online dating experience, we met up within the first few weeks of our first contact, moved in together after a year and got married after 5 years.

SarahDippity · 06/05/2023 02:00

A note of caution; don’t build things too much before you meet. You might be surprised that someone you’ve never met starts to send ‘hey beautiful 😍’ messages first thing in the morning after a week 🤔

See what you can find out about him, light chat, set a few boundaries, DO NOT get drawn into sexting 🙃 and don’t invest too much personally before meeting up.

SnackyOnassis · 06/05/2023 02:42

It can go either way with a long wait before meeting - one or both of you might have built each other up in your own heads and be disappointed when you meet, you might run out of things to say in the meantime, you might get a message from someone else you click with and can actually meet with before the planned date with this guy!

I've had it go all these ways and more, but I also had one where I was going abroad for a couple of weeks just after we started messaging. We had a phone call the night before I flew out and arranged to meet the weekend I got back, so there was about a 3 week wait between connecting online and meeting in person, but we did stay in touch during my trip - I guess it was easier to not run out of things to talk about or get into sexting etc because I was travelling somewhere he'd previously been and had lots to share.

That was seven years ago and he's now snoring happily next to me while I'm awake with pregnancy insomnia with our second child. Life is great and he was worth the short wait in the greater scheme of things.
I think the thing that felt different with him was that it wasn't about the mechanics of dating, it felt like it was just about him and me - the rules didn't seem to matter.
Good luck OP - online dating is weird but without it I'd never ever have stumbled across this man and this life.

Dancingqueenwannabe · 06/05/2023 02:50

Married my online date, we have 2 children and have been together over 10 years!

What I would say is if you feel anxious about the wait, try a video call or phone call. See if the chat flows naturally on the phone. Text messages can be read in the wrong tone, so you could think he's got an amazing sense of humour and he's actually serious about the things he said (I had that on one of my earlier dates, had to escape quickly).

Good luck and have fun

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 06/05/2023 05:00

Met my now DH on Tinder. We chatted for about a month before we met up, it was over Christmas and New Year when we matched and we were just too busy before. I don't think we spoke on the 'phone. Pretty much inseparable from then onwards. Married 18 months ago.

Glendaruel · 06/05/2023 05:06

Yesterday went to a wedding of couple who met online, with my husband who I met on plenty of fish. I was about to give up online and wasn't sure from photos but thought wh y not see if someone different might work out.

EBearhug · 06/05/2023 09:31

Even if you get on well by phone, video and text, you can still meet and find there's no chemistry. There's no substitute for meeting in person in the end.

My current one I first got talking to over Christmas- being away and so on meant it was 3 weeks into January before we actually met. We have been getting on very well since. It's only 4 months so far, but it feels different and even if it goes tits up at some point, I'll have good memories of this one.

GirlAtHome71 · 07/05/2023 23:22

I had this, was chatting for ages but couldn't meet up due to various factors. Didn't have an immediate spark but we've been together a year now and are very happy. Never did a phone or video call first!Just give things a chance 🙂

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 07/05/2023 23:23

peppaspal82 · 04/05/2023 23:21

I've been single for two years now and downloaded a couple of apps months ago. I've not matched or chatted to anyone that I've been attracted to or held my attention. However, at the weekend I began speaking to a really nice guy. We can't actually meet up until the end of this month as both crazy busy... I'm anxious talking for over a month is going to build it up to be something and then when we meet one or both of us are going to be really disappointed! I know I should probably instigate a phone chat between now and then, but the idea fills me with dread (even though I'm a confident, social person in real life)!

Can anyone share their online dating success stories? Has anyone had similar... chatting for ages before you meet?

Yes took us a couple of months to meet (did not live in the same county and busy with work) but we did do facetime etc in the meantime. Still together, it will be 10 years now 😊

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