My partner didn’t keep his promise

[TaeFurey]

What should I do??? Last year my boyfriend and I were hanging out with family and friends a lot and then we broke up and he hooked up with one of the girls and started to coach her kid and his nephew in football ( i was extremely Sad and hurt finding this out) . Two months later he came back to me and begged for me and my son back and he was sorry and so on. He also quit football cause he knew that was how he could get me back (cause how would I be ok with him still seeing this girl at football but wants me back). FAST FORWARD 8 months now.. we are happy and together and about to move in together ( I have a son and he has two kids). He tells me he wants to coach again and that the girl and her kid wont be there (his cousin was told they were doing basketball instead) so I agree and say no problem and was starting to look forward to going and supporting everyone. Today at practice that boy showed up, so I guess they are doing football after all. I am extremely anxious now and angry that now he will see this girl again three days a week for football, he told me he would never put me in a position to have this girl back in our lives. He doesn't want to quit football cause the kids will be sad. I'm ready to walk away from this relationship cause i don't know if I can handle this, nor do I think I deserve to be put through this all over again. its just gunna lead to them all haging out again even though he is saying they wont. WHAT DO I DO? Am i wrong? Am i being selfish? or do i have every right to feel this way?

He didn't cheat on you.
He can't control who comes to his sessions.
You have no right to ask him to stop doing something he loves.

He's either going to be faithful or not. You don't trust him so end it before you merge your lives.

This.

I would usually say that it’s a big ask to stop someone doing something they are passionate about but a promise is a promise and I would therefore say that it is fine to feel like this. Are there no other football teams he could coach.

He was with this woman when you were broken up. He didn't do anything wrong. You're making a massive drama about nothing.

And this is why tou don’t take ex’s back.

He’s only thinking about himself.
You broke up once for a reason, make it permanent this time..

Spot on

Definitely don't mess your son about by moving in with him because this obviously isn't a stable relationship.

Possibly, just possibly, everything he told you was true.

Did he tell you the boy turned up? If so, he was being honest with you and not hiding the fact.

Coukd ge coach a different football team? Clubs are usually crying out for coaches.

The boy showed up. Did his mom?

This is your issue, not his.

@TaeFurey How has he broken his promise?

he can't control who turns up to be on the team.

he's supposedly an adult coaching a kids football team, he can't keep volunteering to do that, then dropping the team to suit his girlfriend, it's supposed to be a commitment to the kids.

You all sound very young, but you have kids, you need to behave like parents, adults.

you split up, THEN he started seeing this woman (doing nothing wrong) then he wants you back (hopefully he had the decency to tell her before you got back together?!?!) all that's happened now is her kid wants to play football - he can't control that! It's not like he's back in her bed.

he will be faithful or not, that's up to him, you can't keep him on a leash! & there's nothing to stop you doing as you planned, supporting him, the team & being sociable at the club.

she's some woman he saw when you were split up, she wasn't even someone he cheated on you with.

she had more reason to be upset than you.

You don't trust him.

A good question for you to ask yourself would be 'Why would I consider having a relationship with someone I don't trust?'