I think there are many people in our society living like this with their spouse/partner. It is almost normalised.
Often, these are the very people who 'feel sorry' for those who are happily single, thinking they must be lonely. Yet I can't imagine anything more lonely than a life serving someone else's sexual mood swings.
My first long term partner was like this. He was a decent man but very tied up with his sexual self image. If he didn't do it every night he felt like a failure. Whilst he didn't take it out on me, the resulting gloom was unbearable. I could not have settled down or had children with this guy.
It begs the quation what went wrong? Why did they marry? What was the reason for signing up to a life like this? Is it a lack of confidence or an eagerness to conform to a prescription lifestyle, where the acquisition of a mortgage and wedding ring are all that separate one from a sense of 'failure'?
It is almost taken for granted that this is what marriage comes to: the woman retreats after children and the man pesters. Neither person wins here. It seems that it has little to do with romantic love and a more a sort of contract. An obligation which is necessary in order to reproduce. There are so many ways in which we can live, yet society presents this one single path as the ultimate, and creates policies to reward it.
I also notice that many women who feel this way about their marriage are often miraculously re-awoken by a new man, relationship, a refresh. Many prefer to stay single, later on. There is no right way to go about this, but the normalisation of this dynamic is dated and toxic, and I would despair to see my daughter sign up for it.