I’m so bored! Help me get a life please?

[TraceTheLines]

Maybe this is a midlife crisis, maybe a reaction to current circumstances or possibly just me recognising my needs more?

I’m about to turn 40 but also my kids are teenagers with their own lives so now I have more time and freedom after 10 years solo parenting. I have recently ended a 4 year relationship which fizzled into a sexless, platonic friendship. In the aftermath, I hooked up with an ex and fell pregnant. I decided to terminate which took an emotional toll.

A few weeks on from all this and I feel an overwhelming sense of freedom and like I just want to go crazy and have fun. Where I was previously content with my life of work, kids, house and volunteering, now it feels mundane and boring. I’ve lost weight, bought new clothes and feel my confidence returning.

The thing is, I don’t have many people in my life who are at a similar stage of life. Over the years I’ve drifted from nearly all the people I grew up with as I couldn’t ever go out. I guess I could get back in touch with some of them though? I do a lot of voluntary stuff in my community and I’ve made some lovely friends but they’re usually older or into different things. I need to go out to meet people and make friends but I need friends to go out with. I’m fairly introverted so find socialising easier with a wingman/woman.

I think turning 40 is making me reflect on my life and I just feel sad that I never really lived my life for myself. It feels like time is slipping away and now I want to really LIVE.

Can anyone advise please? How do you get a life?

Have you had any help finding or support (counselling?) around your decision to terminate?

Slipping into a fantasy world of fun and freedom could have long term repercussions- I think at some point we all need to come to terms with the life stage we are actually at not the one we dream of or wish we were at. Not trying to be a kill joy. Perhaps don’t make any rash decisions at the moment?

Eventbrite online and offline events is my go-to for entertainment and enrichment. I am doing a free course off there now and have met so many interesting people.

Thanks @AlienSupaStar. It’s helpful to hear a sensible voice of reason. I haven’t had any counselling but I feel ok about my decision and don’t have any regrets. I think the hardest thing is feeling dissatisfied with my life when I was content before. I don’t feel ‘old’ yet but I’m all too aware that I will be soon enough. It wouldn’t be a problem if I had more friends to do these things with I guess. I’m pretty sensible so there’ll be no rash decisions but I guess I would like to widen my circle of friends and activities and just do fun things.

Thanks for the suggestion @scoobydoo1971. How do you find going to these things alone? I’m quite introverted but chatty if someone else makes the first move!

I’m feeling fairly down about the BH weekend. My only friend is busy and I have no plans and nowhere to go.

I am an introvert too Tracethelines, so I couldn't turn up at an organised social event on my own without feeling awkward. However, I do go to online and local classes, and then everyone turns up on their own (mostly). Met friends through these meet ups. So I have done meditation, art classes, pottery workshops, mindfulness group, how to do IT class, fashion and art history classes etc. Currently doing a level 3 law course online and again, lots of same age like minded people on there. Worth a browse on eventbrite, and there is another website called events.in that lists stuff local to you.