Mother in law issues - HELPPPPPP

[Laurahxx]

I need to know if I’m being unreasonable.

For a background I have one child from a previous relationship and a three year old with my current partner. My partners mum has been difficult from the moment I fell pregnant.

She oversteps every single boundary and my partner backs her up every single time and it is causing so many issues I don’t know whether to leave him.

Most recently she CUT MY SONS HAIR without asking either of our permission and made and an absolute mess of it and I felt really upset, but my partner acts like I’m overreacting.

She also was feeding my child solid food at four months without me knowing, before I felt he was ready to be weaned, amongst many other things.

Am I overreacting? Should I learn to be ok with these things? Or is my partner choosing his mum over me?

so your MIL is a nightmare and your partner doesn’t have your back
the weaning is a big breach of trust
i wouldn’t put up with the behaviour from either of them
Your partner has chosen a side and it isn’t yours

Why are you leaving your son unattended with your MIL? She's not following your wishes or respecting your parenting choices so she doesn't see your children without you or your DH being there too.

You should have left the moment he backed her up the second time (deserved a second chance for redemption after the first time she did it).

He doesn't support you, why are u with him? I'd be saying goodbye. Weaning and hair cutting is definitely grounds to stop this controlling ass MIL to be a part of yours/your child's life.
Your partner is pathetic. Sorry but please see this and leave this twat that cant even have your back. You deserve better.

Why are you leaving her alone with your son?

Just no, she is overstepping boundaries massively and, until she stops, she gets supervised visits only

My partner takes him round to see her and then does things like go out to get his car cleaned etc so it’s like I have no choice on the matter. It’s hard because even if I choose to end the relationship, he will still need contact and then I have no say in if he chooses to leave him with his mum, so difficult.

Like you say if you leave you won’t have any control over it. If your relationship is otherwise good, I’d stay but be saying to him that your DS isn’t going there without you as his mum has overstepped and is disrespecting you as a parent.
It’s hard because sometimes they think they know best, but to cut your child’s hair and start weaning without your say so is terrible behaviour and I wouldn’t trust her at all.

If you decide to leave, you tell him very clearly that your DS isn’t to be at his mums without him, and if anything happens he will have to visit your DS at your house. It’s obviously harsh but you don’t have to allow your son to be anywhere that you don’t feel comfortable with (unless you’re just being unreasonable - which in this situation doesn’t appear to be the case)

You are not over reacting, she sounds like she has zero respect for your decisions!

Did she know you didn't want your son's hair cut? It may have just been I'll tidy it up a bit (gone wrong). And did she know you weren't giving solids or was it her assumption that it would be OK. Not knowing the detail it's difficult to say how bad her behaviour is, as mums we get very protective. My mother was a nurse who sometimes looked after a ward full of babies, but I was still not always happy with her ideas on looking after mine! Although obviously she was not doing anything bad and I didn't make a big deal of it.