Friend issue

[Hunnypieprank]

I can't believe that I have to write this post and such. I really think in my opinion that a post on sensitive forums. Should be off limits to the papers . Like most I really value my privacy and I would really not like the experience of my thread making for the papers daily fodder.
I was invited to a event hosted by my friend a few weeks ago. To which I was excited about celebrating their special day.
I was really looking forward to it as any one would.
I hadn't had a plus one as I didn't have anyone special to bring. Plus with limited space and numbers. It didn't really occurred to me the significance of it.
I knew she was invited others who she and I both knew and some hadn't had a plus one.
All fine.
So on the day of the event took place as I was really excited about it. But for the first HR or so I felt like I was looking around for ppl to talk to. And I felt a bit awkward. Eventually we were called for dinner.
I had trouble located in where I was seated as my name was spelled incorrectly and the were was 3 versions of my name.

So I headed back out to check the seating plan and I met with the lady that was checking the arrangements. And she mentioned that I was seated on " that" table. But I explained to her. are you sure ? as I don't know anyone that is seated there. A specific bunch was seated there who knew her but not me as I have never met them before. And these group of ppl all were acquaintances with other. And I would consider her my friend a close friend rather a acquaintance.
So she checked again and confirmed that I was to be seated there. By that stage there was a I met her family member that thought I was strange that I was seated there.
I was so embarrassed I really was. I just grinned and bear it. One of the table members asked which one did I knew! I was like err 😮 no one. That strange that the man replied.

I felt so self conscious and to be honest humiliated. That I could hear everyone laughing and chatted while I just ate my dinner.

I would never go to a restaurant or a cafe alone. Yes of course to a fast food place. And I realised why as growing up in school I had a few periods of eating lunch of my own and I felt I was carrying some sort of shame. I hated ppl to know that .
I was so upset all the other plus ones were seated and other ppl I knew were sorted seated nearby or together.
I actually wondered in how I deserve this treatment. The table were nice enough but I didn't know them and we never spoke apart from pleasantries. I went to the bathroom admittedly was upset but I washed my face and I went to my find the others I felt that I was playing catch up all night.
i really felt so lonely and low for the first time in a long time. My friend said to me later did you like your table as I think some word of it came back to her. I replied to her yes thanks as I didn't know what else to say.
It has left me in bad taste tbh. I had to see her soon and put on a brave face. I honestly don't see her in the same light. I think there sort of party planned in the summers I'm not sure I go tbh. As I don't want to in the position again unless say it directly as long as I'm seated beside ppl that I know.

In a nutshell. I felt really sad that I had to post my experience of it. I felt utterly humiliated.
I was seated in that table for hours. I felt uncomfortable .
I have much rather stayed a home tbh. Which is sad to me to admit that as I was looking forward to it for a while. I know that my friend will talking about her event if I do see her. I don't want to create an issue by saying how I really feel but I do think she might know something is up about it.

Was it a wedding?

Wedding/party seating plans can be really awkward so don't take this personally. I'm not sure why you couldn't have just made conversation with the people you were seated with for a couple of hours - you were all there to celebrate your friend surely? Don't make your host feel bad by mentioning it, you could cast a shadow over her special day and it's really not about you.

It’s really mean to seat someone without a plus one at a seated event at a random table without any one they know. Sometimes you make new friends, but other you will sit there in silence while you are talked around. I wouldn’t say anything to your friend it’s over now. But it’s ok to just leave, or skip the meal and come back later for drinks if it’s a wedding. This obviously really upset you, if you find yourself in the situation again make sure you have an escape plan. Look at the seating plan and if you are at the weird uncle table next to the toilets slip out and come back later when the fun starts. The food is usually terrible anyway so you won’t miss anything good. It’s not rude, it’s self preservation. If you are important enough to be there you wouldn’t have been placed in a random spot. And to be honest your friend may not have realised.

Thanks. I.did try but they weren't interested in me. I just received looks from them. I can't blame them tbh as they all knew each other. I annoyed that my friend put me in a table where I knew know one..
While everyone else was seated together where there knew someone. This was a close friend. I don't want to or plan to create an issue but my mouth can have other ideas. I can honestly say from my experience that if I ever experienced it again I would walk out of the place or mention some sort of headache.

It’s fine to leave. It’s an invitation not a summons.

I think you should have told her when she asked if the table was ok.

Was it her wedding ? If so that potentially changes things & you might have to suck it up.
You are not unreasonable to be upset though.

Thanks yes it was and yes I wanted to but by that stage I had calmed down and had a few. I certainly didn't want to cause a scene. I did mention to someone else that is was great but I wasn't keen on the table as I didn't know them or something. Also I was one of the last to be seated so one of the groomsmen might have heard me saying are you sure that's my spot on the table as I don't them and I was standing there for like 5 or 10 mins waiting for confirmation

Table seating is a nightmare at weddings especially as they usually go in even numbers. I had my family over 2 tables, dh family over 2 tables. Then there was my close friends at 1 table and Dh friends at another. Then I had a random table that had a family of 3 I know who's not in my friendship group, dh god parents and a few couples who we know separately. This table did not really know each other but they didn't fit anywhere else. If you are not really in a friendship group with any of the other guests maybe your friends was struggling to place you and thought these people would be friendly. If you are in a friendship group and they were all sat at a different table that's abit mean or thoughtless. It could be your friend didn't realise this would bother you (she may see you as a confident person who could sit anywhere) I would try not to take it personally unless she has form for thoughtless behaviour.

Meh, these things happen at weddings. Myself and my now husband got seated at the ‘single ladies’ table at one of my best friends weddings. We didn’t know any of them either. It was a strange dynamic all night, he was the only guy at the table and the girls were on a mission to have a good time. It would have been better for us to be seated with other couples that we actually had met before.

I mean is it really such a big deal? If it’s a wedding don’t you just eat and then the tables get moved for dancing etc. so you can go find the people you do know to talk to?

It was the latter ! When I described the event to my family member. They said she did a rotten trick to you. Tbh it felt like that. They were plenty of options in which I would have been seated.
I don't think that was particularly nice for you to experience to be seated like that. All the single ladies together and the only couple together suited with them I would not be too fond of the couple going towards. The seated went for hours only trying to make small talk.
I just couldn't relax. I left as early as possible too.

I'm trying to express how hurtful in how I felt. I considered her a very close friend and she knows me pretty well likewise. I didn't think you need to explain in advance that as I'm on my own please seat me with ppl I knew.
Yes that's true everyone was mostly seated together and it was hard trying to push myself in and by that stage I just wanted to go home as I was upset.

I think you are being a bit of a drama llama.

They have to fit everyone in someone and there was a spare seat at that table.

If I ever go to events alone I know that I’ll be seated next to someone I don’t know and I have to make the effort if I want to have a conversation.

Falling out with your friend over it is silly.
You were unhappy about the seating but it’s done now so just forget it and move on.