Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

You women have all the power of dating apps

22 replies

3BSHKATS · 01/05/2023 19:49

This was said to me this afternoon.
I replied don't worry we get paid 30% less so it all balances out .... to which I was told I should put that i'm a "hairy arsed feminist" on my profile to warn people.
This was then closely followed by a request for a picture of my tits. Different man.
When I explained i'd had breast cancer so they weren't my best feature I was encouraged to share the photo anyway as surely they can't be that bad.

Is this other peoples experience ? Is it me ?

OP posts:
Oopsiedaisyy · 01/05/2023 19:53

Not really mine as i had a spidey sense either reading their profiles or one or two messages in, so it never really got to that point. The moment you get a whiff of a red flag, block.

Original poster
3BSHKATS · 01/05/2023 19:53

Well that was the first whiff on both counts

OP posts:
EBearhug · 01/05/2023 19:57

I'd agree that there's an imbalance on apps, but I'm not sure that having to trawl through all the dross of male profiles is power...

Still, after an entertaining year of dating, I'm currently sat in a hotel room at the end of a very lovely week's holiday with who is presumably my last date, so it's not all bad.

crackofdoom · 01/05/2023 20:03

There's always the odd one. I pride myself on my good boundaries on OLD (honestly? I think it's because I use lots of long words on my profile, I think it scares the knuckle draggers off), and don't get THAT many idiots or dick pics, but there was someone recently who seemed great and really interesting at first, but then the conversation descended really rapidly into this unhinged rant about wokeness and I had to block in a hurry- really didn't see that coming at all!

I would recommend being really picky. Picky when swiping, picky when answering messages, quick to discard when something feels "off". There are so many men on OLD and so many are woefully substandard- as you have found out- that it's one hell of a winnowing process

AbsolutePixels · 01/05/2023 20:08

They assume we have the power because it's so easy for us to get sex, which is the thing that most of them really want but struggle to attain. If they stopped and thought about it for half a second they'd realise a lot of us are sick and tired of being objectified and harrassed.

Oopsiedaisyy · 01/05/2023 20:09

I always ensured my sense of humour and complete lack of expectation was firmly in place before i hit the apps. There are decent men out there, promise.

Original poster
3BSHKATS · 01/05/2023 20:20

Are the paid for ones any better - this was bumble

OP posts:
lolstevelol · 02/05/2023 06:16

Its actually white men that have all the power as they are the single most desired group when it comes to dating/online dating

NameChangedSoYouDontKnowHowBrokenMyHeartIs · 02/05/2023 06:20

Clearly women don’t.
I wish that men would be honest:
When they say ’you women’ they just mean the pretty one’s.
Us ugly women have no luck, nevermind ’Power’.
Tell him to lower his standards when it comes to looks.

Sparklfairy · 02/05/2023 06:22

to which I was told I should put that i'm a "hairy arsed feminist" on my profile to warn people.

"Okay I will, as long as you put incel on yours, deal?" Halo

gerbilcrocus · 02/05/2023 07:18

lolstevelol · 02/05/2023 06:16

Its actually white men that have all the power as they are the single most desired group when it comes to dating/online dating

"White men" is one hell of a large OLD sub-group! Within that group there will
be 35 yo single dreamboats without baggage and with great jobs and social skills, and 55 yo sociopathic misogynists who've paid no attention to their health or appearance over the past 30 years.

The first will be "top of the pile" and will be beating the women off with a stick, the second will struggle to get a match, let alone a date.

Wakingonsunshine · 02/05/2023 07:55

Which is why there are two groups staying single. The 55+ men who haven't taken care of themselves for 30 years, and the 45yr+ women (in reasonable shape) who are expected (but refuse) to settle for these men.

PaintedEgg · 02/05/2023 07:59

to these men the unacceptable power imbalance in favour of women is that women can simply refuse to send a nude picture and block the guy - to them it means we have "all the power (of refusing them)"

scary thing when you think about it

xfan · 02/05/2023 08:05

Why are people talking about sending photos? At least on Tinder, you cannot exchange photos, did you move on to WhatsApp op @3BSHKATS ?

CuriouslyDifferent · 02/05/2023 08:18

Surely the level of interest is how photogenic someone is, but I do agree there is likely to be an imbalance. I speak as someone who isn’t and have accepted it.

but this idiot is an idiot and so block and move on.

Naunet · 02/05/2023 09:18

Women have more “power” on dating apps because men are less fussy about who they’d fuck. I’m sure this little misogynist would be reassured to know that, in real life on the actual date, men have more power because they don’t have to worry about being murdered or raped and abused by his date.

FinallyHere · 02/05/2023 10:11

very lovely week's holiday with who is presumably my last date

Ahhhhh. Hope it goes well for you @EBearhug

FinallyHere · 02/05/2023 10:12

Seems as if the concept that women rightly have the power of refusal comes as a bit of a disappointment to some men.

Sigh

Good to know about any individual, so you can block them.

Lifesagamethentheytaketheboardaway · 02/05/2023 10:18

Any chance you’re anywhere near Lanark, OP? I got the exact same from a man who originally seemed quite nice and chatty and intelligent with a good job etc. Then it got on to how women have all the power and insulting previous dates for not continuing to date him. We were on WhatsApp by then; I blocked him without replying and then got a message from another number full of swearing and insults and threats. Men are just awful.

Original poster
3BSHKATS · 02/05/2023 11:09

xfan · 02/05/2023 08:05

Why are people talking about sending photos? At least on Tinder, you cannot exchange photos, did you move on to WhatsApp op @3BSHKATS ?

No it was on bumble .... i dont like the feature but the calibre is slightly higher than on tinder.

OP posts:
Original poster
3BSHKATS · 02/05/2023 11:10

FinallyHere · 02/05/2023 10:12

Seems as if the concept that women rightly have the power of refusal comes as a bit of a disappointment to some men.

Sigh

Good to know about any individual, so you can block them.

Oh absolutely. I have no doubt whatsoever they'd like that power to be removed.

OP posts:
Original poster
3BSHKATS · 02/05/2023 11:12

850 like me .... so far not one can hold a conversation ....

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page