I can’t control my feelings, feel like I’m going crazy!!

[Ellieeyeballs]

I don’t know what I’m expecting from this thread, but I just need somewhere to vent as I have literally nobody I can talk to in real life anymore. None of my so called friends bother with me anymore, most of my family can’t be bothered with me, or they can, but only when it suits them. My beautiful son is the one who is suffering for my awful mood swings as a result of my current and it seems like going on forever living situation which is quite frankly, shit. I have no privacy, nowhere to escape, can’t even lock myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes without being disturbed. I’m so bloody fed up, lonely and feel taken advantage of. I don’t know which way to turn right now. It genuinely feels like nobody gives a shit about how I feel and how things affect me. I’ve always been told I’m such a lovely person to be around, funny etc and a bit crazy (in a good way I’ve been told!) so why doesn’t anyone want to be around me??? I’ve always tried to be a good friend/family member, but I’m always the bottom of everybody’s priority list. I just don’t get it. I feel like screaming/crying/jumping in my car and just driving away and telling everyone (except my son of course) to just F off. The only way I can change things to make myself happier would make my son miserable, so I’m just stuck in this massive rut with no ending in sight. Anyway, I just needed to write this down somewhere, thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this xxx

Bit more info needed.

How old is your son? Are you a single Mum? Where’s the Dad? Why will you being happy make your son miserable- surely the happier you are he will be happier too?

What’s the thing that would make you happy but son sad? Leaving his dad? We need more info to help.

Need to elaborate on your living situation I suppose? Without any further info though I can kind of empathise, my son keeps me going too x

How old is your son?

Because if he's an adult or even a teen it's not your job to protect him from being miserable. Life is hard. Sometimes we don't get everything we want. Your son will be fine. Even if he is a kid, whatever it is, he'll bounce back. Life's short, stop being a codependent martyr.

Agreed, you shouldn't have to be miserable to keep your son happy. There may be a way you can both be happy that you just can't see yet.

Sending support tho. It feels horrible to feel abandoned by friends and family. I have a small and very supportive group of friends, a supportive mother, but there have still been periods when nobody has had the emotional availability to be there for me as much as I felt I needed - I know that sounds selfish written down - I don't judge them for it now but at times I have felt hurt by it, when I was in the thick of things, like it sounds like you are......

Sorry for lack of info… so, to elaborate, son is 9, nearly 10. I’m with his father and been together 12 years. My dsd lives with us in a small 2 bedroom house with one very small kitchen and bathroom and she has her own child (so my dsgd)and partner who stay over every weekend. I love them to bits, I really do, but I find myself feeling extremely resentful for the lack of privacy and disruption this has on mine and my husbands relationship, as we are all on top of each other. I could leave and live in with my dad with my son, however this would then put even more strain on our relationship and naturally my son would be unhappy being away from his dad. It’s just an all around difficult situation

Well the obvious answer is that DSD needs to move out, what is her situation?

Time for your step daughter and her partner to leave. I'd be telling my partner that they go (maybe 6 weeks notice) or me and the kid do because its too much for one small house.

Yes exactly! That is the obvious answer, but for many reasons this just hasn’t happened yet and now doesn’t look like it will be for at least another 2 years!

I feel so bad for feeling resentful, I really do love them all, but I can’t help how I feel. It’s just too much and I’m on edge all of the time. I hate feeling like this

This could have been written by me sending hugs

How go you all fit in? Would she be eligible for social housing?

Take your Son and go to your Dads as he your partner you love him and want to be with him but this overcrowding is causing you MH problems and you wont be back until your Son has a bedroom of his own. Make sure your partner comes sees your Son every day but stay strong and refuse to return. You have to do this for your Son whilst you still can salvage your family.

Sorry you feel like this OP. Sending you a hug. X

What is the reason they can't move out for two years? This seems crazy. They have a child and should be self supporting. You are definitely 'overcrowded' and they should qualify to go on social housing list.

Surely they could both work and afford something? Maybe if you keep their kid living with you on days they work until they get sorted and financially stable?

They're two grown adults. Surely they can make enough between them to rent something. Even if its a caravan.

So, the living room is used as an office/living room and also a bedroom for them (pull out sofa bed). We have made many suggestions about the different routes they could go down, but they want to save enough to buy their first house. Now I understand this completely, but I’ve said to dh that it’s not fair for them to be that fussy about it, as getting somewhere for them as a family unit is the most important thing. Both of the kids are directly affected by this and it just isn’t fair on them. I’m not just thinking of myself here, it genuinely would be better for them as well, but they prioritise so many other things above housing which is what makes me so mad. There is constant tension in the house as I’m so unhappy, I just can’t keep putting on fake smiles and conversations all the time

Whose responsibility is it to make this happen?

That would totally stress me out to. Can you afford a few weekend breaks to catch a breather or visit a friend... hope they move out soon