How do you propose to a man?

[Ladyinbleu]

As a woman, I'm considering proposing to my long term partner (man). It would be a second marriage for me but not him. No question of commitment IE we have a mortgage etc together and we've discussed marriage. He just doesn't seem to get round to proposing.

Obviously I've been proposed to before in the conventional way. The man asked me with a ring.

Does anyone want to share their stories of the lady proposing to the man? Does a woman go on one knee? Do you buy a ring? An alternative gift like a watch?

You don't what, & your DH doesn't like what?

Genuine questions - I'm baffled!

Why is getting married important to you? What does it signify to you, what would it give you/the relationship that you don’t have in its current state? I’d give that some thought.

Does a woman go on one knee? Do you buy a ring? An alternative gift like a watch?

Nah. Dump the conventional notions of what "ought" to be done.
This is between you & DP, nobody else.
So propose in way that will feel authentic to you both.

It might be as low-key as saying "right mate, let's get hitched" as you share chips from a bag on a beach walk. Or you might want something a bit more hearts & flowers.

What's important is to remember that how anybody else would like to be proposed to is irrelevant - YOU know your man, he's a long-term DP who is committed to you - so however you dress it up (or not) it boils down to you telling him you want to get married, & asking him if he agrees.

😂👏

What on earth are some of these replies?!
what year is this ?!!

Am WAY more impressed by this than any over-egged, by-the-book Romance Industry bullshit.

Two people who both know what they want, & achieve it without reference to convention or copied gestures. Many happy anniversaries to you & Mr Fluffy.

Thank you, @SmallFerret! It's 11 years in October. And we're still as romantic. 🤣

I proposed to my DH on Feb 29th in a leap year!
Told him that I needed to go to get tickets for an event at a beautiful local events barn. It was obviously all locked up when we got there but I suggested we sit on a bench and look at the stars. I just asked him! No fuss or ring, but I did take a mini bottle of fizz with me so we had a little toast. (He said yes)
We have been married for 26 years now.
One word of caution though……I would love to know myself what it feels like to be proposed to.

I said "Will you marry me?"

He said no, but I asked him again a few months later when he was drunk and he said yes. I did phone him the next day to double-check that he remembered saying yes.

I disagree with the whole he'd have asked you to marry you if he wants to get married.

Is this not 2023 where we actively encourage women to try to do anything a man can do?

Let's raise the bar here.

My friend and her now fiancé had agreed that marriage when in their game plan for their relationship:in their case they'd had children together already.

My friend said to him that as they were planning marriage she'd like to make it official and get engaged and could they go pick out an engagement ring and tell their families they are actually engaged.

I assumed @LadyMonicaBaddingham was joking, in the sense that she already has a husband who might well be mildly put out if she went about proposing to other men...

Ah thank you for clarifying! I clearly was rolling my eyes so hard at the whole idea of proposing being a necessary part of a marriage, that I failed to engage between eyes & brain...

Ah!

Thanks for exploding my dimness 😁

@LordEmsworth and @SmallFerret -- I could be wrong! But that was how I read it!😀

I proposed to my ExH (it was clearly a really great move 😉!)

He's a big gamer so I wrapped up a figure of his favourite character in a sparkly box, holding a little flag asking him to marry me. Obviously worked despite the longer term outcome.

Go for it, OP! I hate the notion it's something only men do...

I didn't propose to my dh but I did buy him an engagement watch to even things out as I'd got a nice ring. That seemed to go down quite well as he likes watches and they can be a bit of a luxury you wouldn't necessarily buy for yourself.

Definitely wouldn't go down on one knee but that's mainly because I wouldn't be able to get back up again.

I think "Will you marry me?" generally gets the point across nicely.

Text it to him, yell it to him, go down on one knee and give him a ring - it's your relationship. You know him, you know what he likes, you have a much better shot of knowing what will work than we do.

Yeah I proposed with a watch