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Normal compliments

6 replies

Myaspike · 01/05/2023 07:42

Is it normal to receive a compliment from a male colleague including the word 'beautiful'? Twice a male colleague has commented on my appearance using the word 'beautiful' and it just always seems such an emotive word to use at work. The first time was on a new dress I was wearing (he also said wow when he saw me), the second was when I changed my hair colour - on this occasion he did it in front of our CEO and he added 'i probably shouldn't say that' or 'im probably not allowed to say that' (I can't remember which); my female CEO responded with 'he never says that to me'. Both of these compliments were months apart. If he'd complimented and said 'looks lovely or nice', I may not have picked up on it (although to be fair no other males in my organisation notice these things) but beautiful is such a strong word for work. We get on, occasionally have email/teams banter, he has a tendency to try and bring me in on conversations and he once commented via email that I'd intentionally made a minor mistake on something to cheer him up - his comment was 'i think you've done that to cheer me up'.

It all sounds ridiculous when I write it down but as you can probably gather I've developed a crush on this guy. So do you think he is flirting or just being friendly or does he just like flirting at work to lighten up the day? I can't really comment what he's like with other female colleagues as we work in different offices the majority of the time but I do know he's funny and other females have commented on that.

OP posts:
DatingDinosaur · 01/05/2023 11:42

If a male work colleague called me beautiful, I’d get the instant ick and assume he was the office sleaze/smooth talker/after something/saying it to every female. Inappropriate in the workplace unless as bantz between friends and definitely inappropriate/boundary pushing saying it in front of the CEO then checking for validation that he hasn’t overstepped the mark.

TBH, if any guy called me beautiful (or called me gorgeous, darling, babe, etc) I’d get the ick. Smacks of Player vibes/lovebombing.

Shame it’s caused you to develop a crush on him really cos now you’re blinkered but yes, he’s flirting. Maybe he’s casting his net wide and saying this to other women, who knows. Pity you don’t work in the same office so you could observe. But maybe that’s exactly why he’s doing this..

So I don’t come across as some bitter Bank Holiday Party Pooper, if you’re both a similar age, single/not partnered/married then no harm in seeing where it goes I guess..

monsteramunch · 01/05/2023 11:58

Are you single? Is he?

HappyMe6 · 07/05/2023 15:15

Coming on a bit to strong using the word beautiful in my opinion but others might think differently!

porridgeisbae · 07/05/2023 15:17

It would make me feel uncomfortable.

Yes he definitely fancies you but his attraction seems to be about lust, wanting to shag you etc.

Watchkeys · 07/05/2023 15:27

So do you think he is flirting or just being friendly or does he just like flirting at work to lighten up the day

We're not going to know. If you're interested in him, flirt back. If you're not, ask him to stop. This is about nuanced communications between 2 adults; there's no point guessing.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 07/05/2023 15:29

I would find it a bit inappropriate at work from a straight man.

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