Crappy birthday

[WhatdoIsaytohim11]

Today is my birthday. DD is 18 and isn’t speaking to me for the last few weeks but came round and gave me some lovely earrings.
My youngest DD14 and my BF both gave me some stuff I ordered for myself online.
I just feel a bit crappy as I’ve looked forward to my birthday for a while as I’ve been struggling with missing my eldest and generally crying when I’m in the bath.
Ive been thinking about my parents a lot today. They both passed away 5 years and 2 years ago.
My BF is now not speaking to me after a daft tiff over me saying I’ve had a crappy day.
Im back in the bath.
Im reading a book by candlelight.
Just thought I’d check in here and see if anybody has any great ideas for improving my mental health and stop me moping :)

So even though you weren't speaking at the time your DD had been thinking about you, clearly before your birthday and brought you earrings which takes some forethought so perhaps see this as an gentle olive branch to reconcile. Take it slow. Can you suggest coffee and cake with her one day in a week or so, gives you an excuse to wear the earrings then.

And it's better to order stuff you want than be given just not quite right presents, the world is dying through over consumption.

I don't think I even get cards on my birthday but I don't care because everyday, nearly everyday, I can buy, go, do what I like when I like.

It's not this one day it's how your life is all the other days.

And hey you have a bank holiday attached to your birthday this year! Not everyone ever gets that so you are winning this weekend. Not having to set an alarm the day after your birthday is the best

I’d much rather order my own presents than receive the crap that I have in the past. I once opened a present and it went straight into the charity bag as it was so awful. You’d think after 25 years DH would know better !
I think that when you are older birthdays and Xmas are a let down and depressing, you think back to the excitement of your youth, and all the people, now passed, that were there. You’re not alone.

I would focus on the fact your older DD brought you a lovely gift on your birthday. She's taken the first step towards reconciliation. I agree with pp - gently suggest a get together soon. That's surely the best present - the fact your daughter has made those first steps!

I understand you're feeling sad about your parents (landmark days seem to bring that about more).

The arguement with your bf - do you think he felt criticised for not doing enough, when a lot of your sadness has nothing to do with him? Or is he generally a thoughtless, selfish person, and this is just one day in many that he's made you feel unimportant?

If it's the latter then the best birthday gift you can give to yourself (after working on reconciling with your DD) is to lose the bf. I recall a Christmas many years ago when my ex was making life impossible, and I promised myself that by the next Christmas I wouldn't be putting up with it. It was life-changing, empowering and instantly mood-lifting.

Happy Birthday 🥳