Looking for some outside perspectives on this. Just as it says on the tin really, my husband is starting to seem like he really resents my bond with DC.
Kids are 4 and 8 months. Oldest has always been quite clingy with me, will prefer me to do things for her or do bedtime etc. I don't feel it's anything out of the ordinary for a child her age really, and I know I always had a preference for mum when I was little so until recently it wasn't something I gave too much thought.
Since DS has been born however, DH mentions this more frequently. He talks about the dynamic feeling like its us against him, like he's outside of our gang or something. There have been lots of little comments about it as if it's a dynamic I'm actively encouraging (I'm not but I also won't try to dampen <my> bond with them either). He is generally a loving and very involved Dad so I don't think that's the issue here, I think it's just a simple case of young kids wanting their mum.
DD has never been a great sleeper and I've spent her whole life up and down most nights, putting her back to bed, comforting her, laying with her etc. This hasn't been practical since having the little one as I need to be available to him as a baby for night feeds, night time comforting etc. As a result DD has taken to cosleeping with us. She starts off in her own room, but invariably ends up climbing into our bed in the night. This isn't an issue for me but DH does not like it and has taken to sleeping in the spare room. He feels this only compounds the dynamic he thinks exists between us all. I'd prefer she sleeps in her own room but to be honest my main concern at this juncture is everyone getting a decent sleep
It feels like its becoming quite a big issue for us as a family and for our marriage and I'm not sure how to handle it. I think his approach would be to be very tough on her about it but I don't want to do that as it feels wrong to me, and I also don't want her kicking off and waking the baby (we've tried it and she really does kick off) and to be honest, anything for some sleep.
The sleeping arrangements are one thing, but his perception of the dynamic that exists between us is worrying to me.
Anyone have any thoughts?