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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Struggling after leaving DV partner, stories of success pls

1 reply

Mamacosse · 30/04/2023 13:10

Single mum struggling as missing my DV ex and it's ruining my life.
Classic story, started well and got progressively worse. I was single mum when I met him and DS loved him too. The good moments were like nothing I've experienced before, and I've never felt more seen or understood. But the bad was awful, and eventually I got in touch with women's aid and got out in October.

I felt so good and free initially, but now it's like I'm in a fog, like the good bits of me have died. Rationally I know I'm doing the right thing but emotionally I feel shredded- I found out my landlords are selling my house so I'll have to move and the memories and grief I feel about leaving the house we shared is immense.

As part of the process I realised my mum and stepdad were the same as me ex, to each other and to me growing up, so I've not been in contact with my mum (step dad long out the picture) for several months and I just feel so lonely and sad. I know I need to pick myself up I just can't seem to do it ATM. have kept no contact but struggling not to reach out. Would appreciate stories of how it gets better, or what helped you in this situ. Tysm

OP posts:
LiliLil · 30/04/2023 13:12

The only thing that’s going to help is no contact, time and a lot of kindness to yourself.

How you are feeling now is normal after leaving an abusive relationship, you are trauma bonded to him and that’s hard to break, but it can be done. I’m sorry this has made you realise that your childhood was abusive too, it feels like so much to unpick doesn’t it? Can you access some support? Woman’s Aid might be a good place to start x

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