I’m in a relationship with a guy who I was friends with a while. He moved near me last April. We saw each other every day walking our dogs, going out for meals, going to exercise classes ext. By end of October we decided to start a relationship as we both had feelings for each other. My mum gets on with him and I get on with his mum and dad. So we’ve been talking about the future and got a week in Spain at end of September this year. He has 3 half brothers only one he’s close to who unfortunately is the one who is an alcoholic and is dying right now. All time he has lived here whenever he’s been talking to a brother it’s been this one. In November his brother had an op something to do with them making a kidney take over the livers job to prolong his life. Over Christmas my partner went on holiday (booked before we was in relationship) his brother had a relapse. This led to my partner blocking him on his phone and social media. He insisted he didn’t care about his brother as no one had made him drink again. Pretty much said everything anyone who didn’t know him would say and feel. I said to my partner he must be upset about losing a brother. He insisted he wasn’t bothered cos it was his brothers choice to drink again which is obviously true.
Over the next weeks his mum eventually got them talking again. My partner insisted things wouldn’t just go back to how they had been before. By February they seemed close again and I met his brother when we went out for meal with his parents. Just over a week ago my partners mum text telling him his brother was in hospital and he best let me know cos I may need to support him in the coming weeks. He got the feeling things were worse than his mum was admitting so spoke to his other brother (full brother of one in hospital) who said they were discussing DNR orders. So my partner went to stay at his parents so he could visit his brother. Over the last week and half we have only spoke on Facebook and had 2 phone calls. His brother is pretty much dying and as terrible as this sounds from what my partner said the sooner he dies the better for everyone. I don’t mean that to sound horrible but he looks like a twig he’s so thin, he’s very yellow in colour of his skin, he can’t eat so on a feeding tube. He drinks very little needing a babies bottle to drink from, can’t move about himself sleeps most of the time. He is mentally aware of things but is or has been getting confused thinking pets have been visiting him. Some of the pets are ones he’s had in past and lost some are one he has now along with my partners dog.
My partner seems to be really struggling with what’s happening understandably but he’s coming home for few days on Tuesday so I’ll get to see him. Not sure what good I can do but he says I’ll take some of the pain away. Just hope I do as it feels I can’t do anything. To make things worse it’s his birthday week after and he wanted to spend it with his parents and me. They were going to come to us so he could see us all, but now it’s looking like they won’t be able to come here and I don’t know if I could get there as they can only do something at night and I’d have to stay there overnight. Now I don’t know the area they live so would be relying on them to pick me up from train station and take me back next day but what if something happens with my partner’s brother during that time? I think the hardest part for them is the not knowing and there is no good news to come as even if something does go well it means they are going to be going through this longer. Other day they said his blood tests were starting to go in right direction, but is it good? I don’t know cos it sounds like it’s just going to prolong all their suffering.