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Original poster

Unprotected sex with a really good friend

42 replies

daftbint · 16/02/2008 23:23

Well that was clever of me eh.

I don't really understand why we did it - we have slept together before and always used a condom. Neither of us feel awkward about asking at all, so I'm not sure what went wrong. It wasn't like it was mad passionate sex where it got 'forgotten' either - just friendly and gentle and sweet. And unprotected.

But we'd spent the evening talking about how he'd like to have his own children one day, and how I'd like to have more one day, and then that happened.

It is a relatively 'safe' time for it to have happened and I very much doubt I'd be pregnant, or have caught anything nasty. I'm just a bit pissed off with myself for letting myself make a stupid subconscious decision.

Think I will get a coil fitted this month, its only been on my To-Do-List for a year or so...

OP posts:
Original poster
daftbint · 17/02/2008 10:11

MrsMattie - exactly what I'm trying to work out. Its something I have to talk to him about - I have a child already so I have more of an idea what it means than he does. And even so I'm not really at all sure that its a good idea now, with him.

And I can't be certain he doesn't have any stds but as I said before, its not really what I'm worried about.

Coil. Coilcoilcoil.

OP posts:
MrsMattie · 17/02/2008 10:30

Hope I didn't come across as being judgey@daftbint.
I have done this sort of thing before, too .
I think it's easy to get carried away in the romance of the idea of making a baby, but really, if you aren't in a proper relationship and dealing with the everyday shit of life together, a baby probably isn't the greatest idea in the world...

Original poster
daftbint · 17/02/2008 10:41

No not judgey, just practical!

Its just making me think that maybe its starting to mean more than just two lost souls having a friendly bit of fun - I know how seriously we both usually take contraception - the more I let myself go over it the more I know it wasn't entirely 'accidental'. Under the cloak of anonimity I can say it as it was - we were looking into each others eyes as it happened and we both bloody knew. My rl mates would slap me if I told any of them so you lot get it instead!

Oh I need to talk to him and I cant because he lives in the middle of nowhere and his phone doesn't work. Will have to wait til he visits next week.

OP posts:
MrsMattie · 17/02/2008 10:42

A good frank talk with him. That's what you need, m'dear!

OracleInaCoracle · 17/02/2008 10:44

agree. how long ago did his relationship break up? and what was it over?

Original poster
daftbint · 17/02/2008 10:45

Think I need a nice cup of cocoa and to be banned from having sex!

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 17/02/2008 11:10

I didn't say it was a good idea.

WideWebWitch · 17/02/2008 11:11

But you talked about havng a baby then you deliberately had unprotected sex. So erm, reasonable assumption is that one or both of you want a baby. And whether you do or not,t hat is very possibly a consequence.

Original poster
daftbint · 17/02/2008 11:20

He was in a two year relationship that ended about six weeks ago, with a woman who had a child (not his), and it ended because she decided to get back with the child's father.

Reasonable assumption is more like, we are both confused numpties.

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 17/02/2008 13:22

Oh ok, fair enough!

Original poster
daftbint · 17/02/2008 20:21

Managed to get him on the phone earlier and he's coming here in the next few days to see us and talk about things.

I don't think a baby is really what I need or want at the moment. I suspect its more that the whole sex-as-closeness thing got a bit out of hand. We both are so lost at the moment, and really just wanted to get as close as possible to someone else - at least, thats my analysis.

OP posts:
vInTaGeVioLeT · 17/02/2008 20:37

not wishing to scare you but my bestfriend had sex on last day of period - she now has a gorgeous baby girl - they thought it'd be safe

Original poster
daftbint · 17/02/2008 22:46

Oh great...

Well, que sera sera and all that.

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vInTaGeVioLeT · 18/02/2008 09:30

on a good note - my friend was in a very new relationship , they were crazy about each other , they took total responsibility for their actions[!!] said it was their fault not the babys , decided just to go with the flow and see what happens - they moved in together - baby was born - two months down the line now and they're really happy together - obviously it's not an easy start to a relationship , but it's worked out well for them

Original poster
daftbint · 18/02/2008 22:01

Well good for them - thats a lovely story and I'm glad it worked out well.

Still trying to work out what I do really want, and what to say to him, and what the buggery bollocks I'll do if I am pregnant.

OP posts:
vInTaGeVioLeT · 18/02/2008 22:10

daftbint - there's no point worrying is there{easier said than done}, when's the earliest you can do a test?

Original poster
daftbint · 18/02/2008 22:14

Erm... couple of weeks.

Not so much worried (its too late to do anything now anyway) as hopelessly confused and alarmed at my own teenagerishness.

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