How do I meet people?

[Lonelysingle]

I don't have reliable childcare to start a hobby on a weekly basis, I've tried dating sites but get very few matches and the matches I do get go nowhere. I am so incredibly sick of being on my own, I've been single for several years now and yes I'm happy in my own company but it would be so nice to share the sunshine with someone else for once.

I have "friends" but no real friends who actively want to spend time with me which compounds the issue. I'm an obligation they fulfill when they have nothing else to do.

It would be nice to reset my life. Find new friends, find a new partner everything really but I don't know where to begin!

How will you date if you don't have reliable child care, not being rude genuinely interested as same situation for me so dating is impossible

I get alternate weekends where my children are at their dads, I can probably rotate a night a week round the family but not a reliable day and not without a good amount of notice.

It's hard. It's also how I came to realise I don't have any reliable friends.

Oh I see that doesn't apply to me sadly. I think I would just keep on with the apps if I was you I don't think many meet irl anymore from what I can see and seems its frowned upon to join hobby groups with the aim of looking for dates anyway from what I have read on MN!

Which apps are you using?

You said you’re not getting many matches so does your profile need brushing up?

Have you joined MeetUp?

Interested in the answers you get - in similar situation

I've joined some local Facebook singles groups. They've not been successful for dating so far but I've made some great friends

I am not necessarily suggesting you will meet anyone for romance but I think if you try some new activities you could make some friends and have people to socialize with and start developing a new social network. It’s often through those networks that we meet people (friends of friends, house parties, in the pub etc.).

If you like walking/rambling/hiking you could join this organization and/or check out their local groups.
https://www.ramblers.org.uk/

If you want to meet men you could start supporting a local (minor) football, rugby, cricket (add other local enthusiasm here) team and be part of the supporters club and join their social events.

Same with classic cars/ scooters etc. My DH goes to events like this with his best friend and they are 90-95% male.

Try some evening or weekend classes that are again more popular with men: history, cars, electronics, the local war museum, gardening but focusing on building fences or something (!) you get the idea.

You could also get a job one or two nights a week at a local nice pub or wine bar that’s gets plenty of custom but make sure there are people in your age range, you may need to scout around for this. It will definitely help with your confidence and social skills. Same with being a part time barista or wait staff in the right location.

Sitting at home hoping is the worst option.

Get a professional babysitter and book them in for your hobby. Don't rely on teens or friends, they're doing it as a favour instead of for earning money.

What hobbies could you do with your children?

Stick with the dating apps. Get a good profile - good photos, brief positive personal statement. I feel your pain - online dating is tough going - but remember it only takes one person.

I don't think a hobby should have a strict weekly basis, you can do it occasionally and still meet people. Maybe online resources like Facebook groups for those interested in X would help? Especially for "digital" hobbies like writing or drawing, or similar. I'm interested in photography and I've been in our local camera club for a while, but I don't attend their offline meetings on a regulr basis. To be fair, not so many members do, because lives are so different for us all! People come in when they can or they chat online, share their smartshow 3d slides with photos they took, discuss editing styles, maybe meet up for coffee with those they're good acquaintances with, etc. You may have a lot going on in your life, but so do others, so don't worry about that. Adult friendships have to be flexible in order to work out and it's okay.

I've met some friends through school but you have to make a real effort eg I've gone out of my way to chat/be social so im well liked. Out of everyone, i made a few good friends. Meetup groups. Online dating requires being thick skinned but don't let it be the be all and end all otherwise you'll be sorely disappointed.

I can’t see the point in joining hobby groups in which you have no interest.
Whats the point in wasting endless hours listening to someone bang on about WW1 for example. You could be using that time on line searching dating sites.
If you do join a hobby group in which you have zero interest and meet someone, you will then be stuck with someone who has very different interests to you.
I agree that most people meet online. Life has changed, the way we socialise has changed. People are far more likely to be at home now. Everything is done on line or from home. People work from home, shop on line, order food on line and eat it at home. The list is endless.
You have to remember that the same as when people meet in a pub, you will get a lot of dross. As another poster said, you only have to meet one person though.
Don't lower your boundaries but look at other dating sites.

Great meetup group here if you want to meet new people and try out really good restaurants!

Check out London Meals, Drinks & Deals on Meetup https://meetu.ps/c/51HC7/1xScw/a