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Original poster

Would you expect to be asked?

21 replies

Purpleplanet564 · 29/04/2023 15:48

OH has invited his brother, wife and wife’s mother to stay in our house whilst we are away next weekend. They will be sleeping in our spare room and in our bed.
This afternoon I have just been told that’s what’s happening so i basically have to get on with it. OH will expect me to do all of the cleaning and changing of beds etc…
Im pretty annoyed about the whole thing, to not even consult me I don’t think is right. He doesn’t think he’s in the wrong so that’s the end of that!
would you expect to be asked or am I over reacting?

OP posts:
Shouldbedoing · 29/04/2023 15:50

He should ask and he should assist with the preparation

pikkumyy77 · 29/04/2023 15:51

He should do ALL of the preparation. Just box up your personal items and tell him he has the field clear to do the laundry and prep the rooms.

wispatwirl · 29/04/2023 15:52

Who died and made him boss? You can say no you know. I'd be telling him to uninvite them immediately. If he doesn't, then don't go on holiday. No way would I want people in my space while I wasn't there.

GreyCarpet · 29/04/2023 15:53

How I felt about being asked would depend on my relationship with them.

He should be doing all the preparation though. It's nothing to do with you.

P1ckledonionz · 29/04/2023 15:53

Absolutely he should ask - it isn't just his house!

And then to expect you to do all the preparation required...?!

it's almost at if he thinks your are an extension of him rather than a separate and equal human being.

GreyCarpet · 29/04/2023 15:53

Just refuse to do it. He can't actually make you.

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 29/04/2023 15:56

Why are they staying in your house while you're not there? I wouldn't be doing anything to get it ready.

MichelleScarn · 29/04/2023 15:56

Is he always such an arse?! I'd be 'good joke DH' and as pp has said box up anything precious and leave him to it!

LightlySearedontheRealityGrill · 29/04/2023 15:57

Why on earth would you do all the prep and cleaning? He hasn't even had the courtesy to ask you first. Don't be a doormat!

Original poster
Purpleplanet564 · 29/04/2023 15:57

I think if he had consulted me then I would have been more open to it, I’m not entirely comfortable about them in our bed but I could get my head around it. I’m just fuming he thinks it’s ok to not ask me. And I definitely won’t be doing any prep for it, he can do it all

OP posts:
Stratocumulus · 29/04/2023 15:57

Whilst it’s considerate for him to help with the preparation I would ring his relatives and ask them if they wouldn’t mind bringing their own bath towels and stripping the beds on departure. You could even leave clean bed linen out so they could make up their own beds or remake your bed on departure. This will be helpful especially if you’re working.

You don’t need to make a song & dance to your other half. Just make a quiet call and see what they say.

I have done house/dog sitting for friends & family in recent times and without being asked I always take my own bed linen and bath sheets. This means my hostess/hosts don’t return to a basket of washing created by me/us.

Original poster
Purpleplanet564 · 29/04/2023 16:00

MichelleScarn · 29/04/2023 15:56

Is he always such an arse?! I'd be 'good joke DH' and as pp has said box up anything precious and leave him to it!

Unfortunately it’s becoming a regular occurrence and I definitely won’t get any sort of an apology, he’s very stubborn.

OP posts:
Original poster
Purpleplanet564 · 29/04/2023 16:02

Stratocumulus · 29/04/2023 15:57

Whilst it’s considerate for him to help with the preparation I would ring his relatives and ask them if they wouldn’t mind bringing their own bath towels and stripping the beds on departure. You could even leave clean bed linen out so they could make up their own beds or remake your bed on departure. This will be helpful especially if you’re working.

You don’t need to make a song & dance to your other half. Just make a quiet call and see what they say.

I have done house/dog sitting for friends & family in recent times and without being asked I always take my own bed linen and bath sheets. This means my hostess/hosts don’t return to a basket of washing created by me/us.

Good tip, thank you. I’ll mention this to them.

OP posts:
MMmomDD · 29/04/2023 18:14

As far as asking - I do think it depends.
For me, if you are a family, you lived together for a long time and know each other’s family - and they live a fair distance away - it’s one sort of situation.
But regardless of the ‘asking’ - obviously he needs to do the preparation himself.

OhCobblers · 29/04/2023 18:21

Unfortunately it’s becoming a regular occurrence and I definitely won’t get any sort of an apology, he’s very stubborn.

Do you want to be married to such an arsehole who doesn't respect or consider you?

Beaverbridge · 29/04/2023 18:52

Why are they coming. Special occasion.?. Nightmare people staying best of time, worse if you're not there!

aurynne · 29/04/2023 21:12

I would start by staring at him in disbelief, followed by laughing out loud.

Then I would get me booked in a spa for the duration of his family's visit.

Why do some women put up with this ridiculous shit?

Original poster
Purpleplanet564 · 30/04/2023 14:03

Beaverbridge · 29/04/2023 18:52

Why are they coming. Special occasion.?. Nightmare people staying best of time, worse if you're not there!

his brother and wife don’t have a house so are staying with in laws at the moment. The wife’s mother added to the house makes it cramped. So they’re all staying at our house. I’ve told them to bring their own bedding but I’m still annoyed about the whole thing, more so not even being asked

OP posts:
perfectcolourfound · 30/04/2023 19:39

Of course he should have asked you. It's your house as much as it's his house.

As he didn't ask you, and as it's his family and apparently nothing to do with you, I agree you should do nothing to get it ready for them.

It's bad enough he offered without asking you, but to assume you'll do all the work is so selfish and arrogant of him.

If he's like this generally, then are you considering leaving him? It doesn't sound like he has respect for you.

ZekeZeke · 30/04/2023 20:31

Nope, I wouldn't be happy at all. I would tell your OH to bring his brother et all on the weekend away and stay home yourself.

billy1966 · 30/04/2023 22:16

What an utter disrespectful arse.

Total Ick.

I wouldn't dream of lifting a finger.

Whyvare you with suchban arse.

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