Left an abusive relationship

[TD7]

I've just left an abusive relationship after 13 years the last 5 havenot been soooo bad as I've had blackbeyes dink over my head eye split open ....5 years ago we split he went to Egypt and 3 weeks later he flew a 21year old out there and had sex with her someone who I kept deleting off his fb as I had a gut feeling I found this out a week after he came home and we reconciled this HD happened for 5 years I haven't been able to move past itand 2 weeks ago he called me a fucking idiot and to go fuck myself so I have now left for good anyone think I over related

Reacted

Is this your third post about this OP? You’ve had excellent advice on your other threads.

Are you ok?

That is probably the bravest yet the hardest thing you could have done for you.
Its so incredibly hard to leave, but I found it even harder to stay away. So keep in mind that you may contemplate that option when things get lonely and tough. So write all the s%%% he has done to you and tell yourself you were not loved by him clearly.

HowRatherGolly
Thankyou so much that is great advice your right it really does get hard to stay away when you get lonely I will write everything down and lookat it when I feel weak thankyou for your reply

LiliLil
Hi yes I'm ok and yes I have posted about this I just want advise from ppl who have been through the same as me and how they dealt with it sorry if I'm being to much and I really appreciate ppls advise

No you’re not being too much, but please go back and read the good advice you have had when you’re struggling.

Its incredibly hard to leave an abusive relationship and it’s normal to have doubts that you’ve done the right thing, but you absolutely have. It’s going to take time to feel better, Women’s Aid can offer a lot of support if you feel able to reach out.

LiliLil
I absolutely will get help as I need al the support I can I'm incredibly insecure and don't want to fail AGAIN its so hard unless you have been in it its hard to understand thankyou so much for your advice I keep posting because it helps to chat with ppl who have been in the same situation I question dd he love me its crazy as I think he does but how can he ...sorry for going on about this

I was in the same position a year ago. I really felt like I was going to die.

One of the best pieces of advice I got on here was to stop trying to understand him. You won’t ever understand him, because you would never act the way he does. You can never understand someone like that - the way he thinks and acts isn’t normal.

He has broken you down so much, but none of this is your fault. It really isn’t. Do you have any real life support, good friends you can lean on? X

I have my 2 best friends or support and help lines your right I shouldn't try to understand him and your right he doesn't think.like we do now that I have left he turns into the person I always wanted him to be but I know it won't last I'm so sorry you went through this too its so scary isn't it thankyou for replying x

Just remember, he is a master manipulator and his words are just that - words. He will not change, not with you, not with the next one…this is who he is.

It is the hardest thing I ever had to go through, but I am out the worst of it and know I would never go back. That hasn’t stopped him hounding me though, bouquets of flowers, declarations of love, sobbing down the phone, turning up at my house and then getting angry again when it didn’t work.

One day at a time, you deserve far better than this man x

Going to the police today as as here we go again he won’t leave me alone I had 17 calls yesterday ( they are blocked but my phone tells me I’ve had the calls ) plus so many messages as he knew I would be out last night so I’m at the point now where I’m scared didn’t want to involve the police but I have no choice

You’re doing the right thing. He is harassing you and has a history of violence, call the police x

Can you call your phone company and ask them to change your number. Only give your new number out to friends/family and say specifically not to pass it onto EX.

get out for some exercise, volunteer, do a course. Stay busy and hopefully with time, you will feel better. Work in your own self. Youve 1000% done the right thing. Never look back.

Thankyou so much for your reply I will change my number and keep busy I'm going to stay strong x

I now have the police involved as I've had 98 abusive messages and voice mails I've done a statement and his time I will fight back I will stand up to this vile bully

You’re doing the right thing, are you ok?

im ok but I know the whole process is going to be stressful ….do I have to pay any costs or anything going to court

I’m not sure on costs, hopefully someone will be along to advise.

Have you contacted Women’s Aid? They will help you with all of this