Dating worries

[Manda2725]

Hello....

Just needed some opinions on my current dating situation. It'd nothing major but I'm struggling with what to do.

I'm new to dating and have been alone for 11 years after my kids dad left me whilst pregnant.

My kids are older now and I decided to date again. I've met someone who I really like and seems to be everything that I'm looking for. Just my bloody luck though he's going away go America for 9 days in May to see family.

My issue is, we've only been seeing one another for less than a month, things are going great but he's been very honest in saying when he arranged the trip he was single and asked his cousin to set him up on some dates with American girls. He said he now had no intention of going on them because he likes me alot and wouldn't want to ruin wha we have foe a holiday romance.

However I know its a long way from home, the sun, sea and American women will be tempting and i also don't want to ruin his original planned experience or get hurt.

I like to protect myself so am tempted to just say go, enjoy ur 9 days and let just leave this and see where we are when u get back so he can do what he likes and I don't get hurt.

But the other side of me wants to trust what he's saying, that he likes me and doesn't want to go on American girl dates and continue our contact over those 9 days untill he gets bk.

I know the 9 days will cause me anxiety if I do continue so I feel like running away currently. But I really do feel like this is developing into something good

What would u all do?

I think he is testing you. There was no reason for him to tell you of his plans to date while he was away at all.

What's the point in dating if he's only there for 9 days? Or is he just wanting to shag? Is he really that irresistible that all these American women are going to fall into his lap? And why is he putting American women into a bracket as though they're all one and the same. I'd use these 9 days as the opportunity to dump him, he sounds mad.

he's been very honest in saying when he arranged the trip he was single and asked his cousin to set him up on some dates

Why did he tell you this?

I think you're very invested in this guy after just a month. You're still dating. Let him be, and he will show you who he is. If he comes back and tells you his holiday stories, and you're not comfortable/don't feel you can trust what he says, that's the time to decide whether to see him again or not.

I've met someone who I really like and seems to be everything that I'm looking for

... except I think that he might be about to go and have a series of 1 night stands with complete strangers.

He's not actually your dream guy, is he? I mean, presumably, if he was, you'd be saying things like 'I could trust him implicitly from day 1', that kind of thing.

He hasn't said he wants to go over there shagging. He has said he was planning on going on some dates his cousin set him up with but has no intention too now.

I guess I just know what some men can be like and it's me wanting to run away rather than trust he won't?

Maybe it's me with the issues?

But yes all very valid points.

He isn't, it's me thinking he's irresistible lol, and being sure anyone would fancy him. I guess because I like him. Also he has family who were going to set him up on a few blind dates. Not now apprently. I get ur point. Thank u

Maybe it's me with the issues

And so, if you have issues with a situation, that means they should just be disregarded?

Why?

I think he told me because I've been adamant about complete honesty so he has been very open since we started dating. Maybe he wanted to test the waters though....who knows

Maybe he is.. I guess I'll have to see what happens and it will essentially make a decision for me. My issue is not ending our dating before he goes out of fear of getting hurt I suppose

If he has that mindset to date others abroad, there wouldn't be anything stopping him in this country either, you hardly know him, I'd say see how it goes, if he's into you, he'll still keep in touch while he's away and when he's back, getting to know him more, I think you'll get to know if he's the loyal type.

There was absolutely zero reason for him to tell you… this is not what honesty means. He should have just cancelled the dates and not mentioned them. This doesn’t sound right to me at all. This guy will hurt you.

Then don't. But I don't think you'd feel this wary if you were safe. People you have faith in don't make you feel this way.

So, keep dating him if you want, but don't get emotionally enmeshed with him (as you are already starting to be) until you feel you can trust him.

Yeah it would have been better he said nothing
however — he did

look talk to him
if you can discuss this and share it was tactlessness supreme and he agrees and says yeah sorry 😞
then that’s ✅

people can be thoughtless at times
but you need to talk to him and let him know it was an odd thing to say and it’s planted a seed of doubt

Is he really that irresistible that all these American women are going to fall into his lap?

😂😂😂

Watch out Britney and Mary Lou, big Keith's here.

And MaryJean
😂