My mother was an alcoholic while I was growing up. Needless to say it affected me though she doesn't tend to acknowledge this. I never really talked to anyone about it - she was always in a high flying job so a high functioning alcoholic. My dad who was separated from her knew but that's all.
Five/six years ago she went through a stage of phoning me drunk in early evenings and sending erratic messages late at night. I had a serious talk with her using some of my most painful memories which she didn't even remember to verbalize the worry.
Long story short she saw a professional for many months and overcame the addiction. Since then she's been fine as much as I can tell. But in recent weeks she's started with the erratic snarky late night messages again which she later deletes. I'm convinced she's falling off the wagon.
How can I speak to her about this without putting her in defensive mode? We have a good relationship now & I'm a happy adult but this has really upset me.