Advice - change in sexual aspects of relationship

[WishIdidnthavetopostthis]

Looking for some advice and also to help me get my head straight.

Abit of background- I was in a 25year relationship which ended 5 years ago (he left me- likely affair). I never felt important to my (now ex) husband and sex became bland and irregular. Although he ended it , it was the right decision in the long run.

I then met a man 3 years ago. He’s kind, gentle, patient and made me feel really special. We don’t live together but our lives are quite integrated otherwise.

Now for the current issue - sex was great from the start, we both felt very satisfied and were happy. We are very open about sex and talk easily about it. About 6months ago, things changed. It started to get more 1 sided (more about him than me). Gradually I felt rejected by this/ unimportant so I discussed it with him and things improved for a short while. Howver, it’s fallen back into the same pattern and I’m left feeling even more hurt and like my needs and feelings aren’t important. We’ve discussed it again and he’s really apologetic/ wants to sort it out.

im stuck on how to proceed. I don’t want this pattern to keep repeating.
Am I expecting too much? Maybe I’m being too sensitive due to my past issues?
I really don’t want to give up on an otherwise good relationship without good reason.

Sorry for the long post but I need to sort some of this out in my mind.
thanks

The pattern will repeat. He had a chance to rectify but the reality is that he is happy for it to revert back. Decision time for you.

@Beanie567 that’s my fear and I don’t want to keep going through this but equally I don’t want to lose all the other good aspects of the relationship 😫

You have mismatched sex drives. Nothing will change.

Does he watch porn ?

Our sex drives are well matched and we both initiate sex as often as each other. It’s been the most amazing experience til recently, particularly after my marriage. I’m not sure I’d be as bothered if it started out this way - I’m used to men being selfish in all aspects of life. But it was very reciprocal until recently.

Porn ✔️

Well that’s your answer then.

I would probably not ditch the whole relationship, BUT I would definitely make sure I got what was needed, every time, vocally if needed. He ain't the boss. Take charge.

Ditch the porn obsessed twat. Things will only get much, much worse.

@DustyLee123 maybe I’m being naive but I hate the connection?

Things were good before , it feels like he’s just got lazy.

@Aquamarine1029 i definitely wouldn’t describe him as porn obsessed.

@something2say thank you- I maybe do need to take charge more. This relationship has made me determined to do things differently than I did before and learn from previous mistakes. I genuinely want to find a way forward.

What’s the connection, not hate!