Feel very lonely

[LHJ21]

Hi,
Sorry this is a bit of a downer but just need to get it off of my chest and I have no one to talk to.
I’m at a stage in my life where I feel extremely lonely.
I’m 36 married with 3 kids. Me and my husband have been together for 20yrs, it hasn’t been a particularly happy marriage and think we have just got to the end of our relationship and can’t stand each other most of the time (but that’s a whole other story).
My life all just seems to be about the kids, which is great, but as a person I just feel so lonely. I have no friends or social life, I have work colleagues but that’s as far as it goes, and we don’t go out socially.
My social life seems to be just my parents and my nan. My husband is always out with work colleagues.
I have no one to talk to about the difficulties at home.
I love my kids but the three boys just bicker all the time and each day feels like Groundhog Day. I just feel like I’m repeating myself and moaning all the time. I’m feeling incredibly frustrated with life, causing me to be irritable at home and snappy when I don’t mean to be. I just want more for me and the kids. And the more they grow up and me and my husband drift apart the more alone I’m going to be.

Hi op I met a mam through the school kids. We had coffee this morning. Important to have your own time too. She did yoga and choir they get her out of house.

@Dogslife25 mine are 9, 11 and 16.
I haven’t really made friends with their parents, brief chats but never really built on it from there to make our own friendships. I always find it difficult to make conversations, the chat is usually just school related but it then begins to get into awkward silences.
The friend who I have been in contact with was my best friend all through school, she is close with my nan and goes around there quite often so I am really going to make the effort to go too at the same time. She has always said we should meet up but I kept putting it off so she ended up stopping asking. But I’m going to try and arrange during the holidays when he is working.

My husband always gets funny when I go out, I used to go out regularly with colleagues but he would then start getting in funny moods and be difficult or if in a really bad mood he’d accuse me of being out with another man.
But now throws it in my face that I have no friends.

@LHJ21 sounds like she'll be a good friend defiantely spend more time with her, I would if I had the opportunity. My husband is funny when I go out too, thinks women only go out for one thing, and can't just go and have few drink and a chat with friends. I remember him asking why else would a woman want to go out. good luck in whatever you do, hope it'll all work out for you, I'm sure it will xx

OP I can relate to everything you have said, it’s so hard and I like you got fed up with the accusations that it was easier just to give up on socialising and concentrate on the kids. However, now the kids are becoming more independent the loneliness hits. I’m in a similar situation to you it’s almost scary - feel free to PM me if you fancy a chat x

Um you've just seen that having kids doesn't guarantee closer connection