My ex and I split up on Monday last week. We are both in our 40s. It was sudden and messy, over WhatsApp after 18 months - he misinterpreted a text and said we needed to talk as he wasn't happy, I said I agreed and maybe we had reached the end of the road, he basically ended it there immediately. We didn't live together. I was willing to meet and talk about it but he said there was no point if we both thought it was over. I had been planning to end things but it wasn't 100% decided, I thought it was worth a conversation. My main reason was that marriage is important to me and he didn't seem to want to marry me (he told me in 10 years) and that I felt things were unequal - he expected more of me than he would give. Later that day he said should we have a last date and talk about it, I said I was too hurt to see him right now.
Initially, I was okay after the break-up. A couple of days after, he blocked me on WhatsApp and unfriended me on Facebook and texted to say that I was right it wasn't a good idea to meet up and that we'd been 'over for ages' anyway. I assumed I wouldn't hear from him again and deleted his number. At this stage, I was okay with things as I thought my reasons for wanting to breaking up were valid.
Then on Saturday he texted me and apologised for over-reacting to the text. He said he was out of line and he was sorry for his messages to me, and he was also sorry he hadn't shown me enough appreciation for all the things I'd done. I just replied that I accepted his apology.
On Monday he texted me again and said that he was drafting an email to me because I deserved an explanation and he was on his 4th draft and he was really busy with work but would send it to me asap and he was thinking of me.
Then Monday evening he emailed me and basically he told me he had wanted to marry me but he couldn't see how it could work financially/practically and so he'd suggested the 10 year thing as a placeholder but it wasn't fair and he was sorry. And that was why he'd been nitpicking at me and generally over-reacting because he couldn't see a way forward. And that his son had got me a birthday present he couldn't post so why didn't I come round for dinner and we could see if we could move on as friends.
I was literally like WTF. He took my main reason for wanting to leave away and had apologised for everything I would have raised as an issue - but he just wants to be friends?
I replied and said we couldn't be friends but I'd be open to a proper date and a proper conversation. And he has replied saying he needs time to process how he feels and think about things.
So now I'm in limbo. I know you'll probably all say block and move on but I don't do blocking unless someone's abusive and I'm not ready to move on just yet. I'll give him space and not contact him, and I'm sure eventually if he takes too long or doesn't answer, I'll move on. But it's hard :(