Cheating Partner?

[RobJ]

Hi, seeking a bit of advice....potential infidelity

Partners car seen parked in unusual place twice, about 7 min walk to local shops in manchester where I live, when usually she would park in the car park of the shop itself.

She was not in the car, so having waited around for a good 40 minutes, she didnt walk back down the road to get to the car. A car pulls into the road where her car was parked, and then a minute later, it exits, followed by my partners car.

Looks like she has got out of this car, even though it went around the corner out of sight. Nobody else walked into the road where her car was parked

I pulled her on it later and she was adamant she walked down the road to get into the car. This is just not possible, as I was there

Few weeks later, I walk into the bedroom and she is lying there with the phone to her ear, looked very much like she was on the phone. Her phone slipped down out of her hand "im not on the phone to anyone, she said". Refused to show her recent call logs, as she does not want to get into this in the relationship where we have to check each others phones, I should just believe what she says I am told.

Thanks

Rob

I'd be a bit pissed off if my partner asked to see my call record, but I've got nothing to hide so I would show him anyway. There are obvious reasons for you to be suspicious, but I would carry on with surveillance at this point. Although I'm the sort of person who likes to have cold hard evidence before a confrontation.

Yes I confronted too soon unfortunately, thank you

How did you know she was parked there in the first place, or that she's parked somewhere unusual more than once? Are you tracking her?

It sounds like you don't trust her anyway. If my psrtnsr was making secret phone calls and refusing to show who to, I wouldn't trust them either. That being said I think once you get to the point of following them and hanging around waiting to 'catch' them out in some ways the relationships already done

I was going the shops myself, and I saw the car parked up, so I went that way other days when I went out. It was unusual as our asda is up the road and she would certainly park there or in a road closer. Marriage isnt easy is it.

If it looks shady it's shady.
My ex began talking to an ex in Jan the last yr. Just friends allegedly, catching up. Later on, she began hiding her phone, demanding to see mine. Went away with the girls (Turned out it was a 4-day trip out with him to the lakes).
Eventually, she sort of confessed after I questioned her. She still tried to minimize it.
Don't play this game, it's not pleasant. Get it out in the open.

sorry to hear about this Harry. Yes I agree, if something is a bit shady, it normally is. It starts with intuition something isnt right, and then when you actually find something that cannot be explained and there are lies told, something is normally going on.

Has she always been so protective of her phone?

Has she made any extra effort with appearance and things like that recently?

Not always, but I noticed a change, it goes everywhere with her, never left lying on the side, and when it is, its always faced down! A few times Iv walked past and she has flicked off the screen, whatever screen it was on. Never used to message so much but often seemed tapping away. Have noticed this often with a grin. Not saying its always shady, but a noticeable change yes which arose my suspicions too.

Appearance has not really changed, generally well kept when going out anyway. If anything, i might have noticed a slightly smarter choice of shoes and matching top on and around the days I saw the car but I cant say thats too unusual, could just be coincidence.

I think you're definitely right to have suspicions and should trust your gut. If it seems shady 99% of the time it is shady.
You could continue to observe and look for concrete evidence but to be honest no one deserves to be living like that

You don't trust your partner, so the relationship is over. Regardless of who has done what with who, this isn't a feeling you'll be able to put to bed, so unless you want to live with a relationship that makes you feel this way, you'll have to leave.

They always get caught out eventually

Are you going to live with suspicion until 'eventually' comes?

Intuition is a key indicator that something is off, I'm happy to say mine was in full working order. Sometimes you second-guess yourself in situations like this.
Gas lighting is a barometer for someone having an affair.

I wouldn't leave my current partner simply based on suspicion. There's still a chance there isn't actually anything going on (although your partner isn't making it seem that way). I did however, finally leave my ex without any actual concrete evidence. He cheated on me multiple times in the past, so as soon as I saw those signs again, I packed my shit with or without his confession.