Final straw - thinking of going NC with family

[Mountainmoose]

I’ve recently found out that three years ago my sister was registered as power of attorney for my parents and despite plenty of opportunity to tell me this (we regularly meet up, speak on phone, in almost daily WhatsApp contact), they decided not to do so until now.

My parents are currently very healthy and ‘compos mentis’ and I don’t believe they would have been coerced by my sister. If anything, I think she will have been instructed not to tell me rather than the other way around.

I don’t have any issue at all with her being chosen, as they are a lot closer to her, however I do feel very hurt about not being told for so long.

There is obviously a long back story here with me being cast as the scapegoat and my sister the golden child.

My family dynamics have had a huge negative impact on my life for a very long time, particularly in regards to my mental health (starting in early teens and still struggling today). We had several family therapy attempts when I was a teen which I found horrendous as they just closed ranks. In the end, the family therapist stopped the sessions as they felt they were pointless and just harming me.

I’m feeling like this is the final kick in the teeth that I’m willing to take and that I need to walk away once and for all and save what little is left of my self esteem.

Please let me know if I’m overreacting here as they always say that I’m over-emotional and too sensitive. It’s so hard as I don’t want to cause a big drama but I really can’t see the point in being part of a ‘family’ that treats people like this.

You don’t have to cause a big drama, you just go lower and lower contact. I honestly don’t think my parents realised I’d gone NC with them —- years later I realised my mother was a narcissist and the two of them were only interested in themselves.
You don’t have to justify yourself, you can choose the amount of contact, from zero upwards, that you are comfortable giving.

Mine have done this they have spent my whole life behaving as though I don’t exist and favouring my brothers so have made them Poa, although I did get told in a very short text. At least it means you won’t have the responsibility in future might turn out to be a blessing in disguise

Take it as a blessing.

It sounds as if having less contact would be good for you.

Daily contact is a lot.