ive made a decision

[em1981]

Hi, been on here quite a few times in the past five months. Husband slept with work collegue, while i was 6 mths pregnant and without protection. Decided to give it a go as i still loved him but finding it increasingly difficult to come to terms with. Im 13 weeks pregnant with our second child and old memories are coming back to haunt me! Sat down with him last night and found out there were still so more lies he had kept a secret. I decided this morning to move on. Its killing me to do so but i feel i have no choice. Just looking for some advice and support. Worried how i will cope with a 15 month old and newborn with no husband. Im feeling so low, i want to run away from everything and worried about getting post nat depression once the baby is born. Am i over reacting, is it just my hormones?

I'm sorry you are going through all this, it must be awful for you but, please try not to think too far ahead at this early stage. By the time the baby arrives you may be feeling on top of the world! Just take things one day at a time and try not to stress too much. It's vital that you look after yourself xx

I haven't been in exactly the same position as you. But when the final decision was made to end my marriage, it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

I still had the, am I doing the right thing and what if I'm on my own forever wobbles. But within quite a short space of time I finally felt myself again.

I could do what I wanted, when I wanted. My money was my money, not our (or his!) money. I didn't have to put up with lies anymore. I didn't have to second guess myself anymore. I didn't have to tie myself up in knots wondering where he was anymore - I think you get my drift!

Making the decision you have is a big step, some you have come a long way already. It will be difficult for a while when the new baby comes along, but make sure you rope friends and family into helping.

All of this stress and anxiety at the moment does not mean you will get pnd. Be kind to yourself, and don't expect too much from yourself xx

Agree with other posts. You must feel dreadful right now, but look on this as a positive step. It's not going to be easy, but living a life that's based on truth rather than a web of lies is infinitely better. If your DH didnt learn his lesson after the first time, would he ever have changed? Take things a step at a time, set yourself small goals, and don't try to look too long term into the future.

thanks for all the support and advice

Well done erm1981.

Husband may still be a part of your LO's lives but doesn't have to be your lifepartner any more.

DH having sex with no protection with someone else is putting you and possibly LO at risk of infection.

I hope you have family and friends around to help you out.

I hope it all works out for you - dont be too hard on yourself only you know what is best for you and shame on you dh for continuing with yet even more lies.

Is he begging for you to still make a go of it? If he is not then it is evident that you have made the right choice.

It will not be easy i am sure but if you talk through your fears early on i am sure you will get the support you need. Make sure you make your dh pull his weight and give you some time to yourself too.

pop into this thread when you feel ready, for support from some of us who are at various stages of going through a break up.

Nothing to add except good luck - wishing you strength and happiness.